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Leslie Nielsen

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Leslie Nielsen

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  • Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.
  • The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other four-letter words were used up.
  • [on the part of his career when he played almost exclusively villains] The best part is always the heavy. And the meaner and crueler and the worse you are, the more vicious you are as the heavy, the better the hero looks when he whips you. So the heavy is liable to be a very dramatic, fine acting part. I told my agent at that time, "I want to play heavies who are really vicious and cruel and terrible. I want them to know that they're terrible and I want them to enjoy it.".
  • [on his wrestling a "wild grizzly bear" (it was actually a docile honey bear) in Animais em Fúria (1977)] I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there's no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that's standing ten feet to eleven feet tall! Can you imagine? But it was fascinating to work that close to that kind of animal.
  • When people are laughing, they don't beat up on you. You're secure and safe. It's when they stop laughing that it's dangerous.
  • [on touring in Ireland with Robert Goulet] That was a wonderful time. Halfway through, we were joined by a friend, a mad Armenian. We were enjoying ourselves so much, with a drink here and a drink there, what we should have done - like mountaineers - was to tie ropes around our waists, so if anybody fell, we would know.
  • [on using his famous "farting machine"] You have to have some body movement, some wiggling of legs and hips in rhythm with the sound of breaking wind. Actually in the north, in Fort Norman, that used to be the way we said goodnight, although, of course, then we did it naturally.
  • [on Lorne Greene] The hair would stand up on my arms, his voice was so magnificent. When I met him, Lorne looked exactly the way he sounded, the patriarch. I could never have imagined him riding the range, herding the cattle, as he did in Bonanza (1959). But he became a friend who was always there, always gentle, always friendly.
  • [on specializing in serious roles in his early years] Actually, I always wanted to do comedy, but I never made the effort because I was a coward. I didn't have the courage. I was a closet comedian. I was too self-conscious and lacking in confidence.
  • [on his camaraderie with Priscilla Presley] I remember when we first met; we were sitting across the soundstage from each other. I glanced over and happened to catch her eye, and made a face and crossed my eyes. And she did it promptly right back to me.
  • When I was twenty I was scared I'd be perceived as a country bumpkin . . . I found it necessary to cultivate a worldliness I really didn't possess, to protect myself against all my insecurities. People believed my act, and soon I was known as a serious actor who played serious roles . . . I spent the first four years waiting for the acting police to knock on my door, tell me I have no talent and send me back to Canada . . . I don't think I'm getting funnier, I'm getting freer. The more confident you become, the freer you are to become who you really are.
  • [on him being called the 'Olivier' of spoofs]: I guess that would make him the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.
  • [2007, reflecting on his career]: I'm afraid if I don't keep moving, they're going to catch me. I am 81 years old and I want to see what's around the corner, and I don't see any reason in the world not to keep working. But I am starting to value my down time a great deal because I am realizing there might be other things to do that I am overlooking.
  • [1996, on working in comedy]: I didn't want to go ahead and be pegged for doing only comedy, although comedy is burgeoning. I'd like to see how far I can stretch and keep on doing 'dumb and stupid' (comedy) and drama and if possible be accepted at both. There's a line with an audience you can't always cross over. Sometimes, they only want to see you being funny.
  • [2008, on 'Airplane!'] I never knew it was funny as it really was. I went to a screening and heard people laughing and thought, 'What are they laughing at?' because I did not know. I was doing things that were funny, but I didn't see it.

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