Quotes

[when being called homophobic] It's so ironic because gay bashers were the ones labeling me in high school. I try and write satire that's well-intentioned. But those intentions have to be hidden. It can't be completely clear and that's what makes it comedy.

In high school, I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.

I think it would collapse my heart if I was super famous. I don't have the nerve for it, I'm too anxious. I don't know how you're not obsessed with how people perceive you, because they're real people, you know? You can convince yourself that they don't really know you, and that's true, but how can it not hurt your feelings?

Most of my songs make fun of myself.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

You deserve better than a shout-out from your idol.

I enjoy meeting everyone after the shows. I would say a good 90% say, "you're so tall!" while the other 10% say "dude, you're so tall!

I'm 6'5, 6'6 on a good day....I'd do anything to be like 6'1, 6'2.