Rusty Beaman

Rusty was born on the muddy riverbanks of a Jamaican sugar plantation-the very same river upon which he had been conceived eight and a half months to the prior. Rusty's mother wove baskets from the reeds of the riverbank to sell to the American tourists of the Royal Caribbean Cruiseline arriving daily in the port town below. She died during childbirth. His father worked the fields from 4:30 in the morning to well-past midnight-earning a meager pittance-which he used to support his addiction to ordering American-manufactured clothing out of the Eddie Bauer catalog. Rusty was wet-nursed by a goat named Inga until he was old enough to work the fields alongside his father at the age of 2. They never spoke. On his fourth birthday, Rusty learned that Inga's ribcage had been crushed by a Jamaican Boa Constrictor, and that, in the effort to consume Inga's body, the snake had also suffocated. The meat from both animals was boiled into a stew and served to him for dinner. Despite his fervent protests, their pelts were sold to a fur-trader in exchange for an Eddie Bauer parka that remained unused in the Jamaican humidity. Rusty never fully recovered from the loss of his goat-mother. Rusty continued to harvest cane until he was 7 years old, when the plantation succumbed to devastation by the mandibles of a plague of cane beetles. With no money to support his fashion addiction, Rusty's father traded him to a rum-runner for a pair of Eddie Bauer felt slippers. Two months later, the boat he was on capsized in a swell. Everyone on board perished except for Rusty, as he had fallen asleep inside of a large wooden barrel known as a hogshead. Rusty awoke to discover that the 52 1/2 gallon vessel, had carried him to a small island off the shore of North Carolina called Gaylord's Island. There, he was taken in by a traveling band of French-Canadian acrobats-all of whom shared a similar upbringing. They called themselves "The Aftermath". Upon their arrival in Hollywood, they were taken in by the nurturing nature of the city and decided to stay.