Quotes

The new Elephant and Castle road layout is to good traffic flow what Ebola is to good health.

Just saw cyclist cross 2 sets of red lights & pedal *across* moving traffic. At least 3 traffic offences in 40 seconds. 'Dial M for Moron'

I've just watched an insane move by a London cyclist up the inside of a bus through roadworks. You cannot regulate for common sense.

Hodgson's Euro team lost by 1. Cameron's Euro team lost by 1.3 million & he's staying 3 months. Should Hodgson stay another 325,000 years?

Govt bans cigarette branding but biggest building in Central London looks like a fag packet.

[31 December 2016] Before the rush I thought I'd get my season's greetings in really early: Happy Easter

At what point does the Flat Earth Society celebrate new year? New Year phone calls from the Pacific must be highly confusing.

Yup, this match proves women suit soccer as they actually like playing the ball while men are more suited to swimming as they prefer diving.

Maria Carey's famous Xmas song has had over 234,000,000 hits. All I want for Christmas is to finally have 10,000 Twitter followers. :-(

It's not fair. David Cameron was in Parliament 2 years less than I was. And he got to be MP. I demand a refund.

Watching England/France football. Are women players tougher than men? They rarely fall down and if they do *they get up and carry on playing*!

England women's team beat France (population greater than UK... unlike England men who lost to Iceland smaller population than, er, Lambeth).

If the world isn't flat, why do so many people live in flats rather than rounds?