Quotes

[on weekend brunches] Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you could spend $18 on eggs?

[on pedophiles] It's so much easier for them now with the Internet. In the old days, a pedophile would have to go the trouble of renting an ice-cream truck. Today, all he has to do is to Google www.eight-year-old-whose-parents-have-fallen-asleep.com.

[on his performance style] On a good night, depending on my mood, it can change up to 60%. I wouldn't know how to do the exact same act, night after night. I would go absolutely insane.

[on fixing overpopulation] You know how I would do it? I would randomly sink cruise ships.