Quotes

All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing in the breadline--right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

"Life" is a four-letter word.

I credit the motion picture industry as the strongest environmental factor in molding the children of my day.

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become Congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

[on André Previn's shock at being presented with a stolen set of books] You're not thinking straight, man. If I had 90 bucks and spent it in order to get you a present, what would be a big deal in that? It wouldn't even make a dent in me! But to steal 'em for you--I'm already on parole, man, and if I had got caught, I would have gone back to jail. Now that's what I call giving you a present.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

A lot of people say to me, "Why did you kill Christ?". I dunno. It was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, "What I'm going to do if I grow up".