Quotes

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

I wouldn't say Jamie [Hyneman] is an evil genius. I'm not sure he's evil and I'm not sure he's a genius.

My dignity and good television - they'll never meet.

My advice is keep your lips away from the spinning things.

That's the show. It's like 4 minutes of science and then 10 minutes of me hurting myself.

[his reaction to being caught in a flash fire where he lost an eyebrow and some of his arm hair] Am I missing an eyebrow?

I am a champion of one notch above mediocrity.

I have concluded through careful empirical analysis and much thought that someone is looking out for me, keeping track of what I think of things, forgiving me when I do less than I ought, giving me strength to shoot for more than I think I'm capable of. I believe they know everything I do and think, and they still love me, and I've concluded, after careful consideration, that this person keeping score is me.