MarkSweepstakes

I watched this with high hopes. I've been a fan of Cole Sprouse since "Suite Life". And Kathryn Newton is beautiful. The kitchy 80's aesthetic and music was also a draw. Plus the plot seemed interesting.....

But wow, just wow, such a disappointing movie in every regard. So poorly acted and edited -- with a tone that shifts uncomfortably all over the place -- it just screamed first year student film. I'm surprised at the compliments regarding Kathryn's acting because although she looked the part, she was surprisingly unfunny -- a comedic actress she is not. Cole was game but was given little to do with his character other than frown and mumble. I really wanted to learn more about his creatures background but, alas, those blanks were not filled in.

Carla Gugino stood out the most as the nutty step mom. And Lisa's step-sister Taffy was good too, even if she was way too thick to be a believable cheerleader.

All-in-all the potential was there but sadly missed the mark. There were some funny moments that made me chuckle, but I did not care for, nor believe, these characters at all. I'd only watch it again to look for the continuity errors, there were lots of them! 3 out of 10.

The life and loves of a bland middle-aged cop who for some reason is irresistible to young hot girls. The lead has absolutely no personality or charisma. He delivers his lines in an expressionless wimpy monotone, walks in and out of scenes stiff and uncomfortable, plus he looks and acts just like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory which is a huge distraction. Definitely the directors male fantasy project. Overall the acting is beyond terrible, the music is lower than porn quality, the editing is choppier than an Atlantic nor'easter, and all the softly spoken dubbed-in dialogue and foley will put you to sleep.

I can't believe no one has written or commented about this show!

For those who did not live in Dallas at the time, the "Film Vault" only aired in the DFW Metroplex, and only for a couple seasons. Way back in the late 1980's it just suddenly popped up on late-night TV on Channel 27. It was so unique and hilarious that I quickly became a fan. I even got my friends and family hooked on it, too. The creators basically took what Joe Bob Briggs had already been doing -- poking fun at low-budget horror or generally laughable old movies -- but upped the ante by setting their show in a dank, dark, underground, cave-like place that had vaults full of cheesy movies. The only problem was getting to vaults. Every night Randy and Richard, dressed as blue-collar spelunkers with hard hats and dirty overalls and armed with guns, would risk life and limb descending into the vault to pick out a bad film to watch, shooting at giant rats and other creatures in the process. The show also set itself apart because it had lots of viewer participation, too, like decoder rings with secret messages and interviews with filmmakers and such. They even had one of those 1930's-era cliffhanger serials at the start of each show which cinemas used to include before the main feature. Each episode was a multi-hour event, always very well-produced and great fun. It was along the lines of "Elvira" or "Svengoolie" but much funnier.

To give an idea of how popular the show had become, in 1986 the Film Vault Guys hosted a fan-appreciation event at one of our local cinemas in Plano, Texas. It took place at the AMC Theater, the multiplex that used to be on Premier Ave, near Park and Central Expressway. It was a sold-out showing of Cronenberg's "The Fly". My friends and I made double-sure to get our advance tickets and were eager to attend that night, although we didn't dress up as any character. It was a PACKED theater, not quite a madhouse, but close. I sat near the aisle and very clearly remember Richard trying to make his way through the crowd down toward the screen as co-host to start the show, all while trying to avoid a talkative drunk attendee who stood in his way. Richard was clearly frustrated but he stayed affable and tried to appease the guy. Major props to Richard and Randy for hosting that event and putting up with some of those crazy over-zealous fans. I just know we had great fun and it was well worth attending. Many sincere "Thanks" to the hosts and creators for doing that.

And then after a couple seasons their TV show was gone, disappearing as quietly and mysteriously as it appeared. But I never forgot it. I still enjoy shows like "MST3K" but the "Film Vault Guys" were far superior in every way. :-)