charles-gribble

This movie lost me even before I was dragged into the theater. The trailers made it look like a movie made mostly for the sake of violence and for showcasing the sweaty, hairless, shirtless bodies of the male actors; there is plenty if the latter, but shockingly less than expected of the former so if you're interested in bloody and graphic violence skip it, there's nothing that graphic to speak of. The story of Hercules's impossible tasks, is abandoned (and only makes a cameo in a scene where he kills a lion) and instead it's been replaced with a meathead's view of Ridley Scott's, Gladiator. The story and characters are as shallow as kiddie pools, the editing never slows down the pace which is tiring after the first twenty minutes, the same establishing shots are used in the very first shot of every scene, the music also doesn't know how to tone down, as that the climax of each scene is accompanied with large, "rousing" crescendo, the writing is awful and gives you no look into the mind of the characters (at least I hope they had more going on in their heads than what was expressed), there is no acting to speak of, and the visual effects look like they're from a Sci-Fi Channel movie. To add to my disappointment, I also discovered that IMDb doesn't have a "0 star" rating, what the hell?