myrmink

Well... how to begin? This was supposed to be the film that kicked off the new Universal Dark Universe... a remaking of the classic Universal monster movies. Hoo boy, what a terrible, terrible start.

The film doesn't even know what it wants to be: action movie, horror thriller, not well thought-out attempt to cash in on the summer blockbuster season... ugh.

I won't rehash the plot... simply because there really is none other than a mummy (well, a long- dead Egyptian queen), has arisen, and woefully miscast Tom Cruise has the thankless role to pretend to be interested in nothing that is happening in this mess. I'm not a very big Cruise fan, but even I had to sympathize with his attempt to take any of this nonsense seriously.

If Universal really wanted to reboot their original monster horror franchise, they really couldn't have started out worse. Remaking the classic Karloff horror film (also brilliantly redone by Hammer Studios in 1959, and at least made entertaining in the first reboot with Brendan Fraisier) by essentially making a Transformers film with a mummy instead of a morphing truck is a death-knell.

This does not bode well for future Universal remakes... especially since this film includes a ridiculous appearance by Dr. Jeckyll (Russel Crowe just looking for a paycheck).

I predict, at most, one more film in this ludicrous and pathetic Dark Universe series... if that.

This "film" is nothing but guys walking in the woods calling out a dog's name and bickering. The woods are pretty… I'll grant that much.

But 5 minutes of a shadowy brown figure spliced between aimless walking scenes to drippy background music is not a movie. I could recommend this as a cure for insomnia, perhaps, but not for entertainment. And as for the acting, calling it amateurs would be an insult to amateurs.

I'm a fan of low-budget filmmaking and am more than willing to suspend my disbelief if there is at least a shred of talent or artistry involved. But this movie:

No scares, no interest, no talent… no thank you.