Tito32

A 2 hour documentary that easily could've been trimmed down by 45-50 minutes without losing anything significant. Pacing is its biggest flaw.

Far from being my type of documentary, I watched this with my girlfriend and her sister the other night. Things we do for love :)

What do these women have in common? Well, a whole lot. They're norwegian or swedish blonds in their late 20's or early 30's despertely looking for "love" on Tinder. (cause apparently meeting people in some other ways is too time consuming, bothersome and old fashioned for them). It seems easier to swipe day in and day out in hope of finding a trustworthy person in the endless sea of psychos and scammers.

They are impressively shallow, gullible persons who are easily persuaded into anything because the sight of designer clothing and expensive cars make them weak at their knees. Enough to be leding money to a supposed billionaire!!! Go figure. I might be overly cinical amd harsh but its not easy having sympathy for these moronic gold diggers.

The doc itself is suprisingly well directed considering this was directors first feature. The girls I watched it with found it to be more engaging than me, no suprises there...

First things first - thanks to this abortion I am never again watching a movie unless it has at least 200 votes and more than 50 reviews.

I like indie horror, there is something quite satisfying in knowing filmmaker has managed to come up with a good/great movie on shoestring budget. I have enjoyed many of them over the years.

This however, is impossible to enjoy, or even watch unless you're stoned/drunk out of your mind or just plain dumb. Low budget is no excuse for truly awful acting, unlikeable characters, poor effects and a story that could be written by a 8 year old with high fever.

Directors previous effort, Skew, is nothing short of a masterpiece compared to this one. Younger viewers will probably "enjoy" lots of flesh as it all goes down in a stripclub. But the girls are fugly and no amount of naked boobies and asses can save this wreck from bottom of a barrel.

Main character of "Blue Jean" has about as much charisma as those stripper poles. Two "facts" about her are funnier and more entertaining than anything in the movie - she is "classically trained actress" (maybe in softcore porn) according to IMDb. And she supposedly "beat out over 200 other actresses for this role", something that is almost impossible to believe. I simply refuse to think that there were over 200 other girls who were less talented than her :) But hey, maybe there really were a few hundred 5 dollar strippers auditioning for the role and only 5% of them spoke English. That is the only possible explanation.

Here is a funny "coincidence" - as of 05.04.17. every single person (except 1 out of 19) who gave this movie positive feedback has written only one review and one vote on their profiles. And guess what, its of this movie. I guess nothing beats closest family and friends.

And this is S.Sommers homage to the great old horror films of Universal studio? This is,without any exaggeration,the poorest excuse of a movie I have seen in a while.

When a single movie menages to destroy everything you love and cherish about creature features of old,Dracula,Frankenstein and werewolf it's time to realize that this guy shouldn't be allowed near anything remotely similar, ever again. How can you take three of the most legendary creatures,huge amounts of money,pretty useful actors and turn it into year biggest letdown?

There is so much that's incredibly bad and laughable about this movie that I wont even try writing about all of it cause it would take a couple of days! I have seen every S.Sommers movie and it is only The Mummy that's even close to being a reasonably good movie, next to Deep Rising, which I truly enjoyed. Entertaining B-movie and fully aware of it, thats one of the things that made it work. Here he has much more money and he end up creating a turd. Effects are even worse then in The Mummy Returns (not included Scorpion King off course-still the worst CG effect ever) and that's saying a lot. The movie feels more like Shreck or Finding Nemo than horror adventure or whatever he tried to make. God only knows!

All the clichés/stereotypes are used over and over again. Poorly choreographed action sequences, overacting, laughable attempts at local accent and the dialog taken straight out of Hammer classics. The plot is probably written by his 8-year old nephew.

Draculas brides are laying eggs ?! (the castle feels more like something taken from "Aliens" than 17th century). And as for Dracula - there is "The Daddy" of all the evil creatures,the very name should cause fear. In Van Helsing we have the pleasure of seeing one of the worst casting choice for the role ever (at least for production this big - Dracula is supposed to appear menacing while this one looks like Elton Johns new lover or some Liberace wannabe! I was expecting a scene where he bites Van Helsings balls,not the neck.

One thing is certain - after watching this crap,I will never look at those creatures,even this type of films again.