dusty-bottoms

First of all, let me say Gary Oldman would have made a superb Dracula. I say 'would have' because what he plays here is some frenetic Hollywood-esquire demon more suited to comic books than a Gothic romance. This OTT-ness is symptomatic of our over-indulgence in SFX-laden blockbusters, where each film must be noisier, faster, more intense/expensive/silly than the last. This is like a Victorian Matrix Reloaded, a Spiderman 2 for the brain-dead (indistinguishable from the real Spiderman 2), a Batman & Robin for those with a passing interest in the classics. 'Van Helsing' is unwatchable because of this, despite the luminous Kate Beckinsale. (I LOVE Underworld)

Back to Gaz. He is without doubt a fine actor. A fine English actor. Such a fine English actor that I suspect most Americans (and Brits for that matter, including my wife) have no idea of his origin. His ability to BECOME the character he portrays (Leon, Fifth Element, Sid & Nancy etc) would indeed have made him the perfect choice for this role. 'The finest actor of his generation' I would venture, Tim Roth & Johnny Depp notwithstanding. Keanu Reeves most definitely is NOT. Neither is the Welsh/American Anthony Hopkins who, along with the Sean Connerys and Michael Caines of this world gets by with various versions of himself. Not a damning indictment per se (Hopkins' Titus Andronicus was stupendous, Connery & Caine unsurpassed in 'The Man Who Would Be King'). Oldman and Reeves however occupy opposing ends of the acting spectrum. Oldman is great, Reeves isn't (although I LOVED Bill & Ted).

Back to Dracula. A faithful adaptation of the book it isn't. The names are the same, the events have been changed to produce some sort of shouty melodrama. Gary Oldman WOULD have made a superb Dracula, it is a shame he chose to try it in this abysmal pile of dog-poo. 'Interview With a Vampire' suffered terrible mis-casting but (almost) worked. This didn't even re-create the menacing atmosphere it required (see 'Dance of the Vampires'). Five stars to Oldman for being game for a laugh, and otherwise a genuine superstar.

I like Steve Martin. He seems like a nice guy and once upon a time he made a handful of movies that were highly original, entertaining & extremely funny.

What happened? This movie typifies his recent work - it stinks. It has no redeeming features. It is dull, overlong & not at all amusing. I was embarrassed for him, for Kevin Kline and for the lovely Beyonce, all of whom seem to honestly believe they are taking part in something of quality & importance.

It was so bad I went out & bought the original to take away the bad taste. Steve maybe wants to watch this again too. His version was bad, not because he had the effrontery to 'do' Sellers (he didn't), not then because he even tried to do it his own way (if nothing else, a brave effort), but because it simply doesn't work.

He wants to re-acquaint himself with the one thing which characterised Sellers' work and indeed his own, earlier praiseworthy efforts - pathos.

Unlike the previous reviewer I actually sat through this pile of toss right to the end. Whether this was morbid fascination in that I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing, or there was nothing else on, I don't recall.

What I do remember in frightening detail is what a complete & utter pile of pointless crap this is.

Jolie & the brilliant Ecclestone in particular are totally wasted in this over-egged pudding of a film.

No amount of ridiculous car chases, OTT stunts or sweary shouting could compensate for the silly plot and Cage falling into the twin traps of believing he is an action hero and that he can act. And what a STUPID ending!

I used to like Nicholas Cage, he made a believable drunk/waster/no-good brother/Elvis - these are the roles to which he was suited. (Raising Arizona is one of my favourite films).

Then he began thinking he was Bruce Willis (One's enough, thanks).

The sheer preposterousness of his more recent offerings beggars belief, and now I hear he's in a remake of THE WICKER MAN! WTF is going on?

Suffice to say, I would rather eat my own eyes than see that, or National Treasure, or indeed anything he is in ever again such is the disillusioned twattishness of this fellow.