guarnot

I keep hoping for a sequel. Without spoiling anything (the concept of a "spoiler" for this movie is odd anyway), they kept open the possibility of a sequel. Sadly, both John Philip Law and Cameron Mitchell are no longer with us. But whoever produces the sequel could get other actors for those roles. Reb Brown and Cisse Cameron are still around, and I suspect they aren't busy. Graham Clarke seems to be keeping quite busy, so he might not be available. Maybe a larger budget and a sense of nostalgia could convince him; otherwise, just get someone else to peroxide and spike their hair.

This time, a larger (and more intelligible) role for the Bellerians would improve the plot. But my favorite character in the movie was Arthur ("Can I help you?") Hall as the guy in charge of deep freeze. Give him more to do this time around. He is apparently still around, but according to hasn't been in anything since 1988. So maybe someone else will need to fill in for that role.

And I'm sure the Battlestar Gallactica footage is still available.

The initial premise was interesting and implausible-a 9-year old grows a full mustache overnight. The first half-hour or so of the movie was fast-paced and cute; a little cartoonish, but it seemed like a broad comedy with the promise of some kind of moral. Then the plot got lost--and incredibly slow-moving. The resolution made no sense. Should we take pride in what makes us different? Or hide it? Or get rid of it and then get it back again? The writers came up with a cute premise and then frantically tried to figure out what to do with it. They never quite figured it out. (The movie included some good music, however).

So toward the start of the movie, one girls asks, "Have you heard about the song that kills you if you sing it?" Hmm... substitute "video" for "song" and "watch" for "sing," and you have a used premise. And the Crooked Man himself bears a striking resemblance to another legendary figure that kills people. There IS something of a plot here-kids unwittingly unleash an evil force, it kills a bunch of people until the protagonists (this is NOT a spoiler alert) figure out a way to stop it, and then they do. Somehow, the fact that the production values are pretty good and the cast is adequate makes this even more frustrating.

I'm glad Michael Jai White made some pocket change for his blink-and-you-might-miss-it appearance. But they really didn't give him much to do. He didn't even take his shirt off.

(Well, I was at home with a cold, and it let me pass two hours without having to think. That's my excuse. If you watch this movie, what's yours?)