Clay-Pigeon

It's not the worst show on Nickelodeon. That dubious honor goes to "Zoey 101" and "Naked Brothers Band". But this sitcom is still lacking quality in almost every aspect. The two stars (Parker and Nichols) are both graduates of the obnoxious sketch series "The Amanda Show" where they were lead to believe that in order to be funny all you have to do is over-act rather than master real comedic timing (something both boys are seriously lacking). The two leads are constantly out-shined by their supporting cast including Miranda Cosgrove, as their little sister, and Jerry Trainor, as a recurring character who works with Josh. Not surprisingly, both Miranda and Jerry would later star together in "iCarly" which is only slightly better than this show. In terms of writing, this show is completely unoriginal. A common trait amongst all of Dan Schneider's Nickelodeon shows. This man is a true hack. Literally all of his shows are nothing more than stolen "I Love Lucy" scripts reworked for kids. I'm not even trying to be mean. All of these shows regularly feature thinly disguised "Lucy" plots only without the expert staging and set-ups. And very rarely do the writers ever add their own unique spin. It's all dreadfully predictable. Sure, a lot of sitcoms recycle old stories but at least most of them can be forgiven thanks to witty dialogue and good casting. "Drake & Josh" is instead hampered down by crummy dialogue that thinks it's funnier than it actually is. Combine that with smug actors who think they're funnier than they actually are and you've got a bad show. Just to give you an idea of how bad the writing is on this show, I'll describe one episode I watched recently while babysitting (which is the only reason I'm even familiar with this series). The boys get in trouble because Josh is addicted to video games while Drake is addicted to junk food. In one scene Josh nags Drake for being so unhealthy. For those not familiar with the show, Josh is the morbidly obese one (at least when this episode was made) and Drake is the skinny, lanky one. So, yeah, they actually wrote an episode where the big fat kid scolds the skinny guy for eating too much junk. Seriously, they did that. Eventually the boys make a bet on which one of them can go longer without giving into their addiction. Sound familiar? Remember when Lucy bet Ricky that she can go longer without buying a new hat than he can without losing his temper? Same...exact...plot. So if you've never watched television before in your life, you might be amused by this pale imitation of a sitcom. Which is why it's so popular with children. They've haven't seen anything better yet. Others will most likely find the show aggravating.

Your time would be better spent watching these terrible shows instead of Tim and Eric's pretentious brand of faux-subversive humor. Seriously:

Tom Green, Shasta McNasty, She's The Sheriff, My Mother the Car, The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer, Lizzie Maguire, The Chevy Chase Show, The Swan, Unhappily Ever After, 7th Heaven, The Bad Girls Guide, The Mullets, Rock Me Baby, The Army Show, Blue Collar TV, Jenny, Brotherly Love, Kirk, Nick Freno, Raising Dad, Smart Guy, The Help, The Surreal Life, I Love New York, Rock of Love, South Beach, Amish in the City, Britney and Kevin: Chaotic, The Jenny McCarthy Show, Chains of Love, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Simple Life, Unhitched, Costello, girls club, Happy Hour, Method & Red, The Pitts, Quintuplets, The War at Home, Woops!, Models Inc, The American Embassy, VR Troopers, Joe Millionaire, Married by America, Playing It Straight, The Princes of Malibu, Skating with Celebrities, Trading Spouses, The 70s House, Bam's Unholy Union, FANatic, I Want a Famous Face, Dr. 90210, Next, Room Raiders, My Super Sweet 16, The Ashlee Simpson Show, Nick and Jessica, Meet the Barkers, 2ge+her, The Andy Dick Show, Spyder Games, You're in the Picture, BJ and the Bear, Joanie Loves Chachi, Cavemen, Joey, Suddenly Susan, Caroline in the City, Single Guy, Yes Dear, Saved by the Bell: The New Class, Carpoolers, Perfect Strangers, Kenan & Kel, Step by Step, You Wish, Two Guys a Girl and Pizza Place, Hope & Faith, Baby Talk, Aliens in the Family, Odd Man Out, Complete Savages, The Naked Brothers Band, iCarly, Drake and Josh and The Amanda Show.

Considering how boring "The Naked Mile" was and how bland and unfunny the characters were, who in their right mind thought it would be a good idea to do a direct sequel to what was arguably the franchise's worst entry?! Really? Did anyone really care enough about the lame Stifler cousins and their dorky friend to warrant another film about them? If they insist on killing the American Pie series with all these direct-to-DVD sequels, at least keep doing different movies with different characters. "The Naked Mile" was so disappointing that I held out hope that maybe the next one, with hopefully better characters, setting and story, will revive the series. But no. Instead they made the mistake of picking up where the last one left off. This one's even worst than the last. Forgetting that the Pie films are supposed to be sex comedies, the writers forgo the comedy part entirely and focus on the sex instead. Yes, children. If you see enough breasts you won't notice that the cast has no talent and the movie has no script or budget. Nothing new is brought to the table here. No attempt is even made to bring anything new. It's sad considering "Band Camp's" admirable attempt to bring the original theatrical film's mixture of comedy, gross-out humor and endearing characters to the made-for-DVD series. It may have not fully succeeded but at least it tried. The same can't be said for the abortions known as "Naked Mile" and "Beta House". The only good thing I can say about "Beta House" is that at least actor Ross Thomas had the good sense to stay away from this one.