Clint Ford

This is just, really, a retelling of "Oliver Twist", with the character's names (and some of the storyline) changed. A young boy without parents has to rely on the seedier element to survive.

There are many of the same characters from Oliver Twist (Fagin, Mr. Sykes, The Artful Dodger) in this story, but with their own twists (and new names). Emmanuel Lewis portrayed the Davey Williams (Oliver) character at the height of his "Webster" popularity, and his adorable "little boy in trouble" routine shone through quite well.

This movie is to Oliver Twist what "Roxanne" was to "Cyrano de Bergerac". It's an updated, twisted retelling of a classic story. Sufficiently well-acted, I would enjoy seeing this made-for-TV film again... but I'm not dying to add it to my personal collection.

In this four-episode series tribute to "Ryori no tetsujin", Food Network put countless hours of time and effort into returning to the glory that is "Iron Chef". They almost succeeded.

One element that absolutely captures and vexes the audience of "Ryori no tetsujin" (the original Iron Chef series) is the flamboyancy and commanding nature of the wizened "Chairman Kaga". Here, replaced by his "nephew", (Mark Dacascos, whom I highly doubt has any true blood relation to Kaga) the mantle of "Chairman" is lacking.

Our new Chairman is stone-faced, and definitely does not dress the part. He attempts to harness Kaga's former command by shrieking "Allez Cuisine!" at the top of his lungs like an insane Samurai, rather than bellowing it with joy as Kaga would.

With the judges, I found them to be good selections all around-- but a bit biased. I felt strongly that the true "fairness" on this competition would be more even if two of the judges selected were American, and two were Japanese. (I realize that NONE of the judges in "Ryori no tetsujin" were ever American, either-- but this episode wrenches our Iron Chefs French and Japanese from their environments, and they now are faced with the challenge of suiting strictly American palates... which our Iron Chefs America have had the lifelong luxury of doing. Hey, some Americans don't LIKE eating horse fat!) The even balance of two Japanese judges and two American Judges would have given us all the real "thrill of the battle". It would have been like watching the SuperBowl.

As for bright spots in these shows, it was all taken quite seriously. Alton Brown, as usual, does a spectacular job. He is as charismatic here as he is famous for his own Food Network show, "Good Eats". Alton conveys a true feeling of anticipation and excitement as the competition rages, and his nervousness and passion is easily detectable in his voice. If we could not have had Kenji Fukui (dubbed, obviously, by Bill Bickard), then Alton is an excellent replacement. However, Kenji and Alton would have made a superb commentating team, accompanied by translators for each other's benefit, of course. I also missed Ota running around and getting all of the information he could present to us.

Another thought is, why three Iron Chefs America, and only two original Iron Chefs? It was my original hope that Bobby Flay would face Hiroyuki Sakai (which he did), Mario Batali would face Masahiko Kobe (Iron Chef Italian - a natural archenemy for Batali), and Wolfgang Puck would challenge Masaharu Morimoto (which he did). Perhaps in a future jaunt? One can only hope.

In conclusion, Chairman Kaga is sorely missed. The judging needs to be more even and fair, and more of the original Iron Chef elements should be returned to the new Kitchen Stadium. Food Network should pay Takeshi Kaga whatever he wants for his return. He is worth it, and so are the ratings.

Take another stab at this, FoodTV. You've almost got it.

I was a kid who was lucky enough to have HBO growing up. Around 1983, I was 7. That was right around the time that they began playing "The Pirate Movie" OVER and OVER again-- much to the delight of myself and my brother.

We watched it every time we saw that it was coming on. The songs, the choreography... the FUN!! Oh Lord, the amount of FUN these lucky actors must've had filming this movie!! I can't even begin to imagine! They get to wear cool pirate get-ups, swords round their waists, (--and they used FENCING Foils instead of Rapiers... go fig.) and they get to romp around on Caribbean beaches with a bunch of scantily-clad young women and act silly! --and they got PAID for this??

The Pirate Movie was very well made, and I don't care what anyone says-- the song parodies were WONDERFUL tributes to Gilbert & Sullivan. The music is wonderful-- which is immediately obvious by the front-running song "Victory!" at the opening credits.

Granted, there are a number of sexual innuendos... but they are fairly-well masked-- so as to go straight over the heads of younger viewers. The Pirate Movie is a wonderful summer movie for a kid to watch. It's chock full of romance, action, swashbuckling, excitement, and HUMOR! Kids will laugh their tails off at this! I just bought a new copy for myself, and when my 5-year-old daughter turns six, I think I'll let her watch it, too. I want her to be able to get SOME of the jokes, after all...

I would say that the only thing I DIDN'T like about "The Pirate Movie" is the title. I mean, c'maaan! After being SO creative in re-writing "The Pirates of Penzance" so well-- the best title they could come up with was "THE PIRATE MOVIE"?? Oh well...

In closing, "The Pirate Movie" is absolutely, definitely one of my FAVORITE movies of all time. It's better if you first see it as a kid... but it's still full of chuckles as a grown-up.

10 out of 10.