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Giant orges on an island. Punk bands dueling in the Guggenheim museum . Secret orders in New York's Chrysler building. Welcome to the ornate world of Cremaster 3, the third act in the `Cremaster Cycle' that plays out like a David Lynch film on crack. Or I should say reallllly drawn out David Lynch film on crack, as molasses would move faster then a lot of these scenes. At 3 and a half hours; with no dialogue, the pacing of a glacier melt, and some of the most jarring and horrific scenes ever captured on film…this one is definitely for the more patient art house film buffs. Directed and conceived by avant garde artist Matthew Barney, this film gives new meaning to the word cryptic. Think Mulholland Drive, Lord Of The Rings, and Koyaanisqatsi meets The Cell, From Hell, and a Marilyn Manson video. With some of the most rich cinematography ever, beauty is juxtaposed with labor and shock. Cremaster 3 is at once grotesque yet intriguing…a film that I found at times to be both hypnotic, funny, tedious; yet at other times downright frightening. Using a highrise as a metaphor, with each layer revealing yet another painstaking piece of the aria, the film comes full circle. And at completion, it cannot be denied; yet baffling, cryptic and exhausting would be more of the right description.

Three years after director Spike Jonze and writer Charlie Kauffman's brilliantly offbeat masterpiece Being John Malkovich, comes their latest stream of conscious head trip. Yes folks, this one stars Nicholas Cage...and, Nicholas Cage.

The film starts off appropriately enough inside Being John Malkovich(or more precisely on the set of Being John Malkovich when Malkovich is inside his own head) But this is no sequel...no no, much more than that. We soon go back to the beginning. Not the beginning of the movie, but to the beginning of it all. To the dawn of the universe, a zero in the fabric of time itself hurling toward the deep chasm of entropy. From the primitive scribblings of early man to the manic late night scribblings of the neurotic Charlie Kauffman(played by Cage)

What we have here is a film about orchid thieves, high society New York socialites, screenwriters, identical twins, crocodiles, narcotic rings, and internet porn...err, more aptly put: a movie about a guy writing a movie about a book inside of another movie. Oh yeah, and it's based on a true story. Sound confusing?

Adaptation is the screen treatment of the best selling non fiction book The Orchid Thief. Only thing is the main character in the film is doing the adapting, and writing himself into script. In the film we go from early primordial man to Being John Malkovich's floor seven and a half...and somehow it all makes sense.

Is this an incoherent parable on the parasitic relationship between writers and their subjects? The evolution from single cell organisms to paleolithic glee? Or a look at how everything seems to have a purpose in life? Somehow between the obscure Hollywood industry injokes, Silence of the Lambs references, and celebrity Boggle tournaments I missed something.

Unfortunately by the third act(when the movie goes from non fiction to fiction) Adaptation unravels and ends up gravely falling apart. But perhaps that is the point. A film about a real life struggle to adapt a book that doesnt have much suspense in it, and the peril of trying to work some fictional thriller plotlines in at the last minute. Either way, hats off to Jonze and Kauffman for once again bringing us an audaciously unconventional idea and tearing down the box. All this from the adaptive skills of an orchid.

~.c//0ry

When I first saw the trailer for this on apple, I was astounded Dreamworks would be releasing this. At first glimpse, it looks to be this profoundly existential subconscious head trip. Later previews would reveal more of the 'mainstream' parts. I got to see this remake of the Japanese cult hit 'Ringu' recently. Call it Final Destination meets Begotten meets the Sixth Sense with a cryptic blend of ornate visuals, The Ring starts off oddly enough like something straight out of Scream. This alone could make quite a few film buffs gasp. And yes, for the first 15 minutes there is this sort of Urban LEgends feel, with angsty high schoolers talking of the suspected tape as if it was out of a Wes Craven film. However, soon after the movie begins to unfold into a starkly different direction, a woven fabric of unstelling images, blue tones, and effectively shuddering ambience.

Namoi Watts, fresh off her find muck duties on David Lynch's brilliant Mulholland Drive, sinks into this one with an almighty honestness.

Throughout the movie a lot of comparisons will automatically pop in your head. The kid from Sixth Sense, along with a lot of 'havent we heard this before' dialogue. But it is what you havent seen before thats really unsettling.

A really great film will explain a certain technology most of the viewing public doesnt know about. One Hour Photo delved deep into the inner working of a photo lab. Red Violin explained the sound detective aspect of musical restoration. And here we get a peak into the world of audio visual exploration. And boy is it effective. The tape in question might not be all that scary in a general sense...but more in that finding a video casste on the side of the road in a Barstow truck stop kind of way...that David Lynch creepiness that hits ya a few days later.

As the film develops, we get more a feel of dread than any sort of happy revelation, somthing that expands to great effect later on. All I'll say is that top of the barn small room scene has to be one of the most effective use of ornate cisuals since the tapestry sequence in The Cell. This to me is also the most unnerving film Ive seen since Twin Peaks fire Walk With Me. Some may feel the ending gets a bit too outlandish, but within the perimeters of the film it works wonders.