Lejink

Keira Knightley stars in what my spoonerising wife would call a mister murdery. This time the trains and boats and planes murder-go-round location stops at a boat and what a boat, a luxury super-yacht with all the trimmings,

Knightley is Laura "Lol" Blacklock, a crime reporter, recently traumatised by witnessing the death by drowning of a murder victim, who returns to work and accepts the soft assignment of attending a fundraising for cancer event aboard the afore-mentioned cruiser. The event is being hosted by a billionaire, terminally ill female patient Anne Bulmer and her apparently loving, supportive husband, Richard, played by Guy Pearce and is to finish with a valedictory speech and advance-reading of her will by the stricken woman.

But who is the mysterious blonde woman who Laura accidentally encounters when she ducks into the room next to hers? And why does the hostess then privately seek out Laura away from the gaze of her adoring husband?

You just know that things are going to go bump in the night and sure enough Laura's sleep is disturbed by the sounds of a fracas next door culminating in what she's sure is a woman being shoved overboard but in time-honoured Agatha Christie fashion, no one else saw or heard anything, the room has been reset to normal and no-one knows anything about it ever being occupied by any blonde woman.

Despite unsurprisingly and conveniently being assured by the ship's doctor Art Malik that she's suffering a PTSD flashback, the intrepid Laura starts pulling on the strings which will unravel a nefarious plan which will imperil both her and her ex-boyfriend, David Ajala's photographer Ben, along the way.

Adapted from a recent novel, this production lacked spark with an unoriginal plot and rather cliched characters, especially the assemblage of the mega-rich fellow passengers who it seems are only there to disbelieve Laura's story. There are no real cliff-hanging moments and the whole thing passes by like some sort of junior Miss Marple adventure, in fact I shouldn't wonder it might have played better if it had been set in the 40's with everyone in period costume.

Rather lacking in suspense and with relatively lacklustre performances by the cast this was one sea trip which for me, failed to leave port.

If you're one of those people who ever wondered what happened to your luggage after you've checked it in at the airport, this is the movie for you. Otherwise, it's a fairly obvious rewrite of "Die Hard 2", right down to its pointless Christmas Eve setting, crossed with "Phone Booth" as we see Taron Egerton's Ethan Kopek, a disgruntled Los Angeles Airport security guard have a really bad day at the office. Mistaken for his buddy, he accidentally becomes the patsy in a highly complicated plan to blow up a flight to Washington containing a lethal toxin.

Attempting to compromise, control and ultimately coerce him into an act of treachery in a deadly game of cat-and-mouse is Jason Bateman's unnamed stranger, "The Traveller" with Bateman effectively "Roxanne-ing" Egerton by remote control to do his evil bidding. Meanwhile, effectively on the outside looking in, is Danielle Deadwyler as a super-savvy LA cop who uncovers the plot and hotfoots it to the airport to come to Ethan's aid.

With more twists along the way than Chubby Checker, you get an exciting inside-a-moving-car fight, Ethan running like mad all over the airport and more than a little shoot-'em-up action for good measure.

I suppose in the grand scheme of things, the plot is as contrived as it's derived, the characterisations are hollow and shallow and the dialogue clichéd and half-baked but on the plus side, you do get an inside and outside view of LAX and the heightened action and tension, silly as they may be, are pretty much non-stop.

On the whole, this rollercoaster action-thriller is just about worth checking in for.

This BBC TV series, originally hosted by TV chef Monica Geleti and food critic A A Gill must have passed me by. However, in the lead-up to this year's Christmas, when this seasonal special presented by Geleti with new co-host "Judge" Rob Rinder popped up on the channel's iPlayer, my wife and I decided to watch it to help us into the Christmas spirit.

As I understand it, the two visit and report on celebrated hotels worldwide, on this occasion taking in the family-run 5 hotel-chain in Lapland, reputed to be the home of old Santa Claus and his workshop. Well, while there were certainly no sightings of Big Red to be found, the pair find plenty of other things to do to pass the time in the dramatic, frozen countryside of this region in the north of Finland.

Amongst other things Monica gets to scoot along on a jet-ski across a frozen lake with a native Sami lady, corral a herd of reindeer and then, a touch ironically, to eat them as the local delicacy, while Rob experienced staying in a glass-ceilinged lodge, the better to see the marvel of the Northern Lights and also to submerge himself in an ice-hole before racing back to a hot sauna, which apparently does wonders for the respiratory system.

The various family members who run the different establishments came over as patient, friendly and understanding of the foibles of the two interlopers.

This was a pleasant if inessential way to pass an hour in the run-up to Christmas and has probably succeeded in whetting my appetite for earlier episodes of the programme and maybe even towards a future stay at one of the featured hotels, if we win the lottery!