vlad1917

nine years ago, we used to form lines to play street fighter two. it was extremely popular. i was pretty good at it.

when the movie came out several years later, i was one of the six people to see it in the theater. a classic example of 'too little too late.' unfortunately, this film was more TOO LITTLE than too late. stupid, predictable, and almost insultingly retarded.

however, if this movie were made in the 80's, it would been considered......uh nevermind it still would have sucked.

JCVD should have retired 9 years ago.

there's a gag in this movie that's utterly stupid. it happens near the end when it's discovered boomer has a twin...john ma runs past onlookers, then boomer follows him. the onlookers faint, apparently in shock over seeing identical twins. they decided it would be funny if they repeated this gag. SIX TIMES. there are SEVEN occasions when people faint after seeing twins, which wasn't funny the first time. lots of people get hit over the head in this movie, but it's not thugs, it's the audience with lame chinese jokes.

this movie far excels over typical horror movies, as it a.) making at least some attempts to bring depth and reason to a monster killing people...morty scares people until they can face their fears, based on pseudo-psychological reasons; and b.) morty is pretty scary. both of those can't be said about some guy in a hockey mask.

because the human characters are so damn annoying, morty is truly the star of the show. the makeup is great (it lost the 1995 academy award to ed wood. why, i have no idea) and really is scary-looking...i was scared of statues and dolls when i was a kid, so morty struck a cord in me...when they were telling morty their fears, i was saying "im scared of YOU, morty!" it took me a couple minutes to realize morty was a human in makeup and not a real statue.

the diametric/matricide thing completely blindsided me. it made sense and was less predicable than "redrum/murder" from the shining.

yeah, there's plenty of things wrong with this movie, most of which was fully and long-windedly explained already, but no one noticed (or mentioned) the terrible soundtrack errors, especially with the guy with the dreadlocks. the last word of every other sentence he says is accidentally looped and repeated..."I can't believe you're really my mother, my mother!"

nonetheless it's top-rate. i just wish there was more morty. viva morty! cheers to the wooden soccer-ball retriever!