Reaper

My first impression is, "how far has Lacey Chabert fallen!?" before I realize that she didn't fall much, because she was never really much of a star.

My second impression is, "how many platitudes, stock characters, and predictable 'twists' can one movie hold?"

My third impression was "I wonder if the male lead has a bunch of women dismembered and stashed in a freezer in his basement, because he looks like the type who would." Not to mention the fact that I think he was wearing a rug, in a movie that pretends to be all about being (or becoming) true to oneself

My fourth impression was that if an atheist wanted to make a movie to mock Christians, he'd probably end up with something that looks and sounds like Christian Mingle: The Movie.

My fifth impression is that if I were a Christian, I'd resent the heck out of this. The filmmakers seemed to feel that any sort of crap -- predictable plot, D-list stars, idiotic dialogue -- was perfectly fine, as long as they put out a theologically correct message.

Probably best known as "Lindsay Lohan's last major role in a motion picture," this is a movie about a woman who pretends to be pregnant in order to save her job.

Because this is a movie, her "pregnancy" instantly opens up new avenues for career advancement and personal fulfillment. The third act devolves into a kind of "let's fix the situation I made so everyone can be happy" more at home in a bad sitcom than a film.

And yet, there are small kernels of interest here. There is a scene or two where Lohan's character seems to think that she's actually pregnant. Had they actually persisted with a plot along these lines, and had an adequate star and production values, it might have been a decent (or at least interesting) movie. Instead, it seems cheap and slapdash.