war_cat2

I avoided seeing this movie in the theaters for the whole two weeks it was playing there for one reason. When I saw the trailer it looked like an utter piece of cr#p with that lame "hollywood polished" look.

You know where the lighting is so generic, the lead characters all have an inch of makeup on (to help repel the generic lighting glare), the sets look plastic and cookie-cutter like, there are "famous" people playing the lead characters which really ruins the suspended disbelief factor (aka Star Wars New Trilogy syndrome), and so on.

So as quickly as it disappeared from my local theaters it landed (no pun intended) on my local video rental store shelves. It took me a week of trying to convince myself it was worth paying $4.00 to rent when good luck (or bad luck) found me. My neighbor just bought it so I borrowed it from him to give it a watch.

Let me preface the next dialog by my background. I grew up in Pittsburgh and lived there most of my life. The original Romero films (Night & Dawn) were two of my all time favorite flicks. I lived by Monroville Mall (where Dawn was filmed) and many a time took self guided tours in the back halls looking for the "boiler room" and the "hideout to the roof" room. I found the boiler room. :-) These films were part of my soul as a person and I made damn sure everyone I connected with over the years knew that. I lent them out to so many friends and watched them over and over with so many girlfriends as to try and let onto others what I oh so loved. I won't discuss Day of the Dead. While it had some "qualities" to it. It simply wasn't there.

So imagine an avid fan like me just having that "gut instinct" that this one was going to be horrible. I just had that feeling. I was so damn sad just thinking how bad it was going to be. But I've been wrong before.... maybe the preview was chopped up with pare-polished clips before they got reworked. Right? Maybe?

I popped the DVD in with a feeling of hope and sat back and watched. The first five to ten minutes went by "ok" with no huge letdowns (well with the exception of the film not being able to call Pittsburgh "Pittsburgh" for whatever reason??? WTF?). Then "ok" turned to "uggh", then "uggh" turned to "ick", then "ick" turned to "omg this isn't good", then "omg this isn't good" turned to "help me".

Now 15 minutes after popping this movie out I am sitting here on IMDb writing this review. I feel I have to waste more time with this film to warn others and to "let it all out" as maybe this place makes me feel like I have a virtual shoulder to cry on.

I could go into a hundred details of why it was such a horrible film but all you have to do is read the 1000's of other pis$ed off reviews about this film to get where I'm going. I don't feel like bashing George right now. I just hope in my heart he really knows just how much he let all his loyal fans down. Because I have a feeling he might not. What with all these mysteriously positive reviews posted up here by people who most likely live to watch each new episode of "Survivor" since Season 1, George might be a little misguided as into thinking he actually succeeding into not making a pile of cr#p.

Let's all do ourselves a big favor and take a deep breath and think positive thoughts. "Hey hey everything is going to be OK, hey hey everything is going to be alright".

I saw this opening night and let me tell you. The first hour is so bad that at least a half dozen people got up and left. The lady behind me puked half way thru the movie as well (I think because the movie made her nauseous). The last 1/2 hr does have some cool cinematography but not enough to save the film from the horrible creation it is. Bad acting, horrible script writing, stereo- typical characters with less than 1-dimension. Leave well enough alone (the 1980 original). ___SPOILER BELOW____ The best (funniest) part of the film comes when the lead lady watches a videotaped segment of some murders and we see the hilarious reaction of guy who hid in the freezer. "Just chillin'" he was. :-)

We also get an infamous horrible script writing one-liner "What's going on here?".... see if you can spot it.

Well, the movie is a miserable failure on so many levels it is nearly impossible to decide where to start. First off let me declare that Episode IV is one of my top 3 movies of all time. I am a huge fan and actually thought Episode II had many redeeming qualities. But this pile of crap is a different story. I saw it in a packed theater and in many scenes the audience was bursting out laughing at how poor the acting was and how cheesy the scenes were. Most notable the entire scene where Samuel L Jackson is slayed by the soon to be Darth Vadar. The entire scene is a laugh riot and me and my date burst into tears at how hilarious the scene played out. Can you say bad makeup and horrible acting day? Omg, isn't it funny how R2D2 can 'jump' out of his spaceships in this film but not in Episodes 4->6? It's funny how bad this film really is. I saw it with 2 other huge fans as well and we just left shaking our heads in disbelief. Lucas needs to issue out a serious apology to all the fans he let down. He should recommision Eps 1->3 to a new director to 'remake' them immediately. The only good thing about this film was the last 20 mins which sets up the masterpiece Ep 4. And that was just because it brought back such warm memories of the best one of all. Yoda is cool as well, but the rest of the cast is a joke. The writing pathetic as well. Do not even think about renting this pile either.