John-423

You know in the last 10 years American film making has suffered horribly in the way that it plays up movie clichés, and things that are perceived as comic relief, this film serves as a prime example of how to take a no brainer and mock what you are actually trying to accomplish. The first problem comes in that Arnold is no longer just a caricature of himself in the publics minds, but now he's a caricature of that caricature in the movie itself if that makes any sense. Having him spout off one liners just for the sake of one liners is really sad, and unlike the typical "comic relief" that pollutes films now days its was way overdone in the first hour or so almost to the point I was feeling embarrassed as a fan of the series. It was almost like they were trying to make you forget they actually had a real struggle in the movie and that the t-850 was there to be a joke, hell if that was the case why didn't they just hire Rob Schneider as the threat? LISTEN UP HOLLYWOOD some of us LOVE these kinds of films, why "fix" what's not broken??? Comic relief is fine if used right, but as this film goes it was poorly wrote and badly placed. The TX or Terminatrix was pretty lame as well, but much of that had to do with the way she was shot, and not just how bad her acting was... simply put she did not come across as a cold blooded killer like Arnie or Robert Patrick did. The idea of exploiting her femininity to murder is one thing, but they way it was handled is another as the "Victoria's secret" scene was made for 10 year olds it would seem. Why the hell would a damn near invincible "pull over" for a cop anyway? That really made sense... To have a unproven like Jonathan Mostow direct in Cameron's leave is just ridiculous, the guys a damned hack pure and simple if he can ruin something so good, especially trimming the film down under 2 hours like a good "commercial" director. For all the negativity though I will say it had SOME redeeming things going for it, the first of which is Nick Stahl. Stahl was TREMENDOUS in the movie and in many ways the glue that held it together for the first hour, unlike the terrible actor (Edward Furlong) that portrayed him in T2, he had depth and appeal. The last 30 mins are pretty good (even if the Terminator battle was eh...) and the ending gave me chills... Too bad this film was so badly soiled by its directors hand and the poor script, it could have been great 5/10 (Mainly due to Stahl's outstanding performance)

I guess you could say I have had a rather unhealthy obsession with horror films for a good 20 years now. In that period I have seen the good, bad, horrible and pretty much everything in between, and given the stagnate and pathetic state of the horror genre since the early 90's I was literally salivating upon hearing the news of Mr. Zombies little opus given his apparent love of horror and exploitation films. Sadly though the comparisons to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left and classics like Bloodsucking freaks (among others) are pretty much a sacrilege given how utterly insipid and underdone the film came out. COME ON PEOPLE, How can you even mention this failure in the same breath as those films? I can see how Rob Zombies fans will love it no matter what, but as for a fan who has seen the kind of films this is supposed to emulate I have to say it does very little to put it self in their league. First off it has one of the single most underdeveloped casts ever, and by that once you reach the films final climax its actually hard to differentiate which of the young ladies it actually was (trust me, She is no Sally Hardesty), and as for the rest you could really give two s**ts about them given that there is pretty much nothing interesting or even slightly redeeming about them. I mean hey, its ok to have non heroic characters and average Joe Normal types, but if you do nothing to make them matter in contrast to the bad guys who are out to do them in, what the hell good is it? Then on the other side of the coin if you have a `family' that never really gels like this one why would you even want to even cheer the protagonists demise at their hands? Oh and did I mention Dr. Satan? Well no reason to, because much like the rest of the film he matters very little as well since there is really no rhyme or reason to his existence and place in the movie. Genre faves like Bill Mosely and Sid Haig were pretty much wasted here in how they were used as well, Mosely in fact was downright annoying, despite being in one of the only stand out parts in the film like Haig.very sad given how that as `Chop Top' he totally stole the show in Texas Chainsaw Massacre part 2. Zombies wife was only there because, well.. you guessed it. she's his wife. Jesus, she was beyond annoying and among the worst actresses I have ever seen in Psychotronic celluloid, she made Heather Langenkamp look like Meryl Streep . Once you look past the cast you get to the actual filmmaker though and it's a damned shame that instead of trying to deliver a REAL exploitation film he seemed more into using his script (which I must add was on par with what a 6th grader might write, the dialogue was ATROCIOUS and not even funny) and camera as a self indulgent showcase for his garbage artwork, And MTV workings as opposed to making a real fright film. I swear to sweet Satan below that the break away vignette's that took place every 2 or 3 minutes killed the flow of the film dead until the burial scene (which I did love by the way). Perhaps lost in all of this though is the potential that was clearly wasted due to his lack of execution, in fact I will say that once you get to the burial scene the film actually starts to warm up a bit and since the MTVesque crap stops you actually get a 10 to 15 min period in which you can see if Rob had left the psychobilly egotrip behind the entire film would have been quite good. The chase scene was pretty neat, and the best part in this abysmal flick. Oh and the selling point was shock, but I cant say it was that. in comparison to recent films like Wild Zero (horribly bad but well done in a perverse sense) and Takashi Miikes Koroshiya 1 it falls incredibly flat. My advice to Rob Zombie is to stick to the pop garbage you have done since leaving Caroline records and selling your soul to MTV over 10 years ago, because as this film proves just because you like good horror it sure as hell does not mean you are capable of making it. A massive letdown. 3/10.

You know, its almost a waste of time to say this considering studios dont care anyway (I mean, they ARE remaking Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Dawn of the Dead, and neither remake seems to give a damn about the orginal), but... Sheesh, did they learn nothing from the first film? The original Blair Witch Project is quite a film, it usually brings a positive or negative reaction and little in between, but this "sequel", well lets just say it has little or no redeeming merits to even debate. Typical of an American sequel it features the molded Wes Cravenish sterotypes that have killed real horror dead and is polluted with mainstream pop music like Marilyn Manson from the get go. The acting and dialogue is incredibly sappy and unbelievable, and thats saying ALOT... the goth is about the only redeeming thing in the entire film (at least she is nice to look at if nothing else, but thats about the extent of it.). The real question is WHY they make a sequel of a FEROCIOUSLY original film so unoriginal and predictable. The precedent the original set was almost immediatly erased and BURIED despite the films success and financial gain. Why go for scares when you can go for safe, wholesome and PLAIN teen style garbage? Why set an example by breaking a trend when you can simply ADHERE to the same crap that killed the industry in the late eighties? Why... WHY? I seriously wonder why folks, why is it so HARD for US based films to GIVE us some thing original (and please, do not cite The Ring, it was a total rip of Hideo Nakatas japanese original), and not make such horrid follow ups? By all accounts after watching the trailer to Battle Royale part 2 tonight (and oh my god, it looks UNREAL... no lame PC restrictions or Rob Schneider complex there) maybe Japan is the last frontier when it comes to intelligent and thought provoking horror genre films. Maybe one day we will recieve some REAL horror again in the USA, I just hope that day is soon.