The Master Cleanse

Greetings again from the darkness. Sometimes, it's just difficult to know how to describe or discuss a movie. This happens more frequently at film festivals where the most creative and risky films often find their only audience. This first feature film from writer/director Bobby Miller isn't really a comedy – though there are some uneasy laughs; and it isn't really a horror film – though isolated cabins in the woods and creepy little creatures give the impression that it could go that way.

Johnny Galecki ("The Big Bang Theory") stars as Paul, a down-on-his-luck nice guy who hasn't recovered emotionally from being dumped at the altar by his fiancé. One night he's dozing on the sofa when a TV ad captures his attention … it's a spiritual retreat for the downtrodden! The timing couldn't be better.

He's joined at the isolated retreat by struggling actress Maggie (Anna Friel), a young couple, Eric (Kyle Gallner) and Lily (Diana Bang) working through relationship issues, and a quasi-caretaker and holdover client played by Kevin J O'Connor. The on-site leader is played in full-bellow mode by the great Angelica Huston.

Day one is the juice cleanse, and the participants have to force down a disgusting concoction designed to "eliminate" … the step preceding "termination". Elimination is pretty easy to figure out, as our new friends expel from both ends (fortunately this is mostly implied, not shown). While that part might be expected, the surprise comes in the form of the eliminated creatures unique to each of our players … little critters representing the emotional baggage we all carry inside.

In the midst of misery, the retreaters are told that the movement (no pun intended) leader (Oliver Platt) will be arriving soon. He's kind of a cult-like figure without the expected pretentiousness. In fact, he's a pretty nice guy that seems to really care. Of course, that would be a pretty boring story, so plenty of things go awry during the process.

"Let's Get Pure" is the name for the retreat, and the idea of physically removing our negative energy and emotional baggage does make some sense. Director Miller seems to blend the worlds of early David Cronenberg and "Gremlins" to deliver an odd little film that could develop a cult following of its own. It's a serious message conveyed in a not so serious way. Galecki and Friel do a nice job of keeping us grounded and giving us some peeps to pull for. Just watch that final step … termination can be brutal.

That was a strange movie. Doesn't really go anywhere. Just meanders without any real conflict. Kind if a WTf ending too. Strange.

Also: I'll show you mine, if you show me yours. A very weird movie, I knew nothing about when I saw it at a Festival. I went through a bunch of emotions during the screening. Happy, sad, afraid and so forth. The movie really puts you out there with the actors and you wonder where it's all going.

It's really best if you don't read too much about it. The mystery that builds while watching it, is amazing. Also the make-up effects are nice if you like old school (not CGI). It really conveys a lot of emotions and it has a perfect ending too. A nice little gem, that not many will have the opportunity to watch.

Use 4 large jars of gunk, throw it up to produce a ridiculous rubber cabbage patch doll which is the embodiment of all your negativity which you need to murder.

Or to put it another way., this film.

No comedy at all.

No horror.

Dire anamatronics. So ridiculous that maybe that's the comedy element.

I kept waiting for something, anything to happen, but no, it didn't. Yawn.

Please, why was the treatment free? What happens if you don't kill your negativity muppet thing? It eats you. Ok. Obvious. Like the plot. Tiny plot hole. The thingy that is the characters negative stuff has no legs. The entire threat is negated by walking away briskly.

Non sensical up-chuck worth walking away from. Honestly it doesn't get better at the end.

When was the last time I saw Angelica Houston in a project?

It's a lot better than what I was expecting. It's not the best movie but a very interesting one which seem to try hard to stretch a short story into a feature, but it did not have enough meat on it.

When I read the synopsis about a group of people going to a retreat to do an experimental cleansing process which is "more than they realize" I was honestly expecting a horror film, but horror was not one of the genres listed and I thought that's either a mistake and if it's not, it can't be good outside of that genre.

Not sure if I was wrong but, I'm defiantly not completely right. I did like that the visual effects seem to have been done on camera instead of CGI, which made the Sci-fi warmer and realistic.

It was better than what I thought. I think it's biggest mishap was trying to be a feature when it was not.