Assassinio sull'Orient Express

If you have any affection for Sidney Lumet's 1974's stellar version of "Murder On the Orient Express", do not bother watching this new version, you will be very disappointed. Even the poster reflects an uninteresting tone, the font used is modern and lacks any sense of style.

Kenneth Branagh is a great director and actor that has given us some memorable films, unfortunately "Murder On the Orient Express" isn't one of them.

At last night's screening of "Murder On the Orient Express" I had to use the restroom after about 40 minutes. As I reentered the theater the person entering with me asked me "Do you think this movie will ever get started?" I said "I don't know; I guess we'll have to see." It caught fire way to late, in about the last 20 minutes.

Indeed, the movie had a painfully slow start, with a completely overproduced prologue that seemed quite unnecessary. The introduction of the characters is messy and it becomes rather confusing as to who they are. The cast is full of great actors, but so few are able to "shine" in this production.

Kenneth Branagh is an interesting Hercule Poirot, he seems to be trying way too hard, and for me somehow he never "owned it." The extremely grotesque mustache seemed to get in the way

Michelle Pfeiffer, as Mrs. Hubbard is lackluster and quite flat, until the last 20 minutes where she does get a chance to shine, but by then it's too late, but it's not her fault.

Derek Jacobi, one of our greatest actors is so misdirected in this version that he delivers an insipid performance. Penelope Cruz walks through a part that gained Ingrid Bergman an Oscar in the original, again not their fault.

Interestingly enough, it is Johnny Depp who gives the best performance. He embodies his character with the right amount of vile corruptness, and sleaziness that brings life to the screen. He also has the most interesting costumes in the movie.

Judi Dench is elegant and funny but her companion played by Olivia Coleman, who usually turns in stellar performances is totally uninteresting here, again not her fault.

The production is indeed rich and elegant in its production design, and cinematography. The costumes however are fine, but lack a certain panache and glamour we have grown to admire in past Agatha Christie films, such as those designed by Tony Walton, and Anthony Powell. Alexandra Byrne is an extraordinary designer, but somehow it feels like the concept was to be subtle and "real". She needed to be bold and adventurous like her work on the "Elizabeth" films with Cate Blanchette.

The musical score vacillates from very generic, to frantic and never finds the right tone, never providing a sense of mystery and suspense. Only when true vintage songs are incorporated does the atmosphere come alive.

Kenneth Branagh is such a gifted filmmaker, it is sad to see this film fall short. He is in almost every frame, perhaps he would have crafted a better film if he was not in it. As the conductor of this train, he did not provide an elegant journey with wit and great character development for one of Agatha Christie's finest stories.

Don't watch this movie if you think it'll be the transposition of Agatha Christie's classic "Murder on the Orient Express", because THIS IS NOT IT.

The problem it's not just what they changed or omitted, but all the clues they invented to replace the real story make little sense.

This movie was clearly made for a modern audience with no familiarity with Agatha Christie's work. Branagh's portrayal of the legendary Belgian detective Hercule Poirot bares only a passing resemblance to the source material with an inconsistent accent, the wrong mustache, and only some of his iconic quirks and mannerisms. That being said, it is a decent mystery that follows the plot of the story pretty well and it would probably be enjoyable to people seeing the story for the first time and having no preconceived notions of what Poirot should be.

A strong supporting cast featuring Michelle Pfeiffer, Daisy Ridley, Johnny Depp, Willem Dafoe, Judi Dench, Penelope Cruz, and many other familiar faces performs well. However, no one stands out in the way Ingrid Bergman did in the 1974 adaptation or Jessica Chastain in the 2010 version.

There were also several semi-action moments that were incredibly out of character for Poirot, yet provided no actual excitement to justify the sudden stylistic change. The ending hints at Death on the Nile being the next mystery for this detective masquerading as Poirot to tackle, but Poirot should not be summoned to solve a murder, he simply stumbles upon them whenever he goes on vacation.

At first when I saw the trailer, I was so excited and thought "Finally, a remake of Agatha Christie's masterpiece!". But after I watched the movie that night, I can't hide I was so disappointed.

The movie is so different from the book! And many of the scenes are exaggerated, and some important parts from the books are not included in the movie. Some characters lost or exchanged names. No "dr. Constantine", Greta Ohlsson changed into Pilar Estravados, Antonio replaced by some Italian name I can't remember. Some of the characters' personality are also too much for me. Count Andreyi is a... count. It's impossible he is so temperamental in the movie (while in the book Count Andreyi are more respected and well-behaved).

Disappointing, for a Christie's adaptation.

I must admit as an Agatha Christie obsessed fan, my initial thoughts were of pure joy, it's been a while since Agatha Christie was on the big screen, appealing to new fans, and how magnificent that such a stellar cast was assembled. Then I thought, of all the titles, why go for such an obvious choice, which has been done several times.

Firstly, the film is undeniably beautiful, the costumes, sets, filming etc, the film will undoubtedly win an Oscar for the visuals. You can see big money was put into the look of the film.

My major irritation throughout, was his moustache, just absurdly over the top, when Depp and Pfeiffer should have been dominating scenes, all I could look at was that moustache. That apart Branagh was excellent, I never thought he'd carry it off, but he did.

I am intrigued as to whether this is a one off film, or if there'll be the odd appearance on the big screen. Only time will tell.

All in all, it was good, I wanted and hoped to absolutely love it, unfortunately I didn't, but no way is it as bad as some say, too much quality for that.

7/10 (hoped for a perfect 10!)