Age of Kill

I own a goodly amount of low-budget, Lahnden-set actioners by producer Jonathan Southcott, and usually they are reliably bullet-shredded, if somewhat uninspired thug-soaked thrillers, with, perhaps, the sole exception being diamond geezer Danny Dyer's grisly chav-killer 'Vendetta'! The pacey, slick-looking 'Age of Kill' finds our gun grey, gun-happy glamourpuss hero Blake (Martin Kemp), a magnificently moody, dead-eyed government spook, renowned for his unusually keen marksmanship, and Martini cool demeanour in the diabolical midst of a maniacal terror plot, with his beloved daughter kidnapped by a prototypical terrorist psycho, resplendent in black bally, and a natty red boiler suit! The resourceful Blake must now undertake his deadliest mission thus far, heroically rescue his gobby progeny, protect some skinny brass (April Pearson), all the while keeping his immaculately coiffed barnet in perfect nick, which the cinematically studly Kemp does with enviable panache!

At its best, Neil Jones's 'Age of Kill' is pure, unfiltered Seagal tosh, and it even has its own spiffing, terse-sounding Seagal-esque moniker! While the tired text is frequently prosaic, the dynamically dashing, gimlet-eyed Martin Kemp appears wholly energized, making for a lean, handsome, sharp-shooting tough guy, while Patrick Bergin just seems happy to be working, the charisma-bypass Dani Dyer is, thankfully, barely in it, and Bruce 'Warlock' Payne is the least convincing prime minister since Boris Johnson! I dug it, and, to his credit, stolid actor Nick Moran delivers the film's most credible performance as the sleazy, smoothly sinister far-right rabble-rouser Roy Dixon. If, like me, you enjoyed J. K Amalou's equally formulaic Gary & Martin Kemp-starring gangster flick 'Assassin' you will know exactly what to expect here. (It might have been considerably more entertaining overall if they got someone from Sigue Sigue Sputnik to play the voicebox-gibbering villain, jus' sayin'!)

The film starts of with every good intention and direction of being a good thriller. After that it becomes the usual Johnathan Sothcott produced mish mash of bad acting by miss matched characters to roles that makes the film unbelievable. It is a short film which makes you think that they ran out of money whilst making it, and the script looks like it was made up as they went along. Shame ... cracking Brit Cast who deserve better.

This might actually be the first bad British movie I've ever seen. The plot concerns the following : A military sniper played by an actor exactly 10 years too old for the part has his daughter kidnapped by Mysterious Man who will kill her if he doesn't kill 6 people he chooses in 6 hours. Got it? Besides the glaring fact that there are ninety ways for him to get out of it with his supposed "expertese" and all, he does his bidding. Prepare for the most amateur and laughable fight scenes while he does. At one point he dispatches a victim and Mysterious Figure tells him good : "Now where are you?" In other words, he's NOT being watched. So....just fake it and move on. When he's chased by a helicopter, I say again, a HELICOPTER, he takes 4 shots at it with a handgun. It simply vanishes. It ends with a surprise that anyone could see coming followed by a "lesson learned" moral from an American who loves the Twilight Zone. This is a movie that desperately needed Jason Statham and a rewrite.

I am surprised Phil Davies and Nick Moran got involved in this as decent actors. Martin Kemp wasn't bad but a lot of the acting by several other cast members was appalling. Worst of all was the miscast female Detective who sounded and looked about 12. Very uncredible. why she was given this part I can only guess. This was in essence a good plot but really didn't come together. I can only imagine that a lot of people involved in this film will look back and cringe. A shame, if the casting had been better , this could have been decent. Travelling for sometime, I was looking forward to seeing a British film and getting a slice of England but was really disappointed.

An absolutely appalling movie, and that's better than the acting. The cast is like a who's who of cockney actors with a bit of female eye candy thrown in. Martin Kemp cast as an ex special ops agent was an awful idea and the movie just gets worse as it goes on. Nick Moran also stars in the movie which was a bit baffling has he's a decent actor I personally think. I've never watched Eastenders while smoking crack but I reckon this would pretty much be close to the result. Avoid and save yourself the hour and whatever.