Under the Bed

Last night I ended up watching two Lifetime TV-movies, including the "world premiere" of something called "Under the Bed," which turned out to be exactly that: Callie Monroe (Hallie New), a globe-trotting newscaster whose proudest achievement is having scaled Mount Kilimanjaro (she begins to sound like the Julia Roberts character in Eat, Pray, Love), has just broken up with fiancé Brad Volger (Ryan O'Nan) even though she'd already bought the wedding dress and sent out invitations to the ceremony. What she doesn't know — though we do — is that somehow she has attracted a stalker (Pat Healy) who, not content to follow her around throughout her life routine, has managed to ensconce himself inside her home and is literally living under her bed, occasionally emerging when she's not at home to take a mysterious bite out of an apple in her fruit bowl or drink some of her smoothie, which seems to be his only way of sustaining himself since he's never shown actually leaving except, on occasion, to follow her around. He's also filming her entire life on his smartphone, and writer/director Daniel Myrick (whose most famous previous credit is "The Blair Witch Project," another story involving eavesdropping and amateur video) spends virtually the entire movie cutting between normally filmed footage involving her regular life and Jerkicam footage supposedly representing the video her stalker is taking of her. While all this is going on Callie is working on a freelance news article about a prominent politician who's having an affair, and she's also dealing with the aftermath of her breakup with Brad by chatting online with a mystery admirer (whose avatar is an owl) who is, of course, her stalker. She also goes ahead with a birthday party she had planned while she and Brad were still "an item." The basic problem with this movie is that, even though the credits claim it was "Inspired by a True Story," the whole idea of two people interacting in a confined space with one of them being unaware that the other is there is a more suitable premise for comedy than drama. Indeed, at one point I was laughing my head off at a sequence Myrick clearly intended as heart-stopping horror! "Under the Bed" isn't even one of those Lifetime movies that overcomes a fundamentally silly premise; the fundamentally silly premise is so risible (even if it was "inspired" by something that really happened!) that for all Myrick's clear skill at shocking the audience (albeit hampered by his film being shown on a commercial cable channel and his mood-building constantly being interrupted by the commercials — maybe this film would play more like what Myrick clearly intended on a big screen with no breaks), it's hard to keep yourself from laughing during its running time!

Yeah. So the review everyone thinks is so helpful with this ^ title in quotes maybe is insane or tends to laugh out of nervousness they are in denial of.

Sorry about that. I dislike people that disdain or try to assert their snobby attitudes about movies.

Its on Lifetime, dude. If you judge that harshly, go watch a Sundance movie and read something analyzing the symbolic meanings within the way people look at each other in the Sundance movie and write about that - and not giving some five page review on the Lifetime movie that was not a bad movie.

I watch at least one scary (not gory - scary) movie per week. Last best one I watched was The Wailing.

Under the bed, this was an intriguing spin. I usually get bored when watching mainstream movies, even with them still being great movies. If you have the issue of getting bored easily, watch this one. Its not boring.

Or watch it just to see how it is filmed - even if you think this is funny and not scary *smirks evilly* - you will get something out of it anyway.

Actual prodiction values and good cinematography set this apart from most Lifetime Movies for Chicks.

I watched it full length, a total waist of my time. It left me very angry especially because the senselessness of its story line. I could not understand the logic/strategy of the writer/director especially in selecting the ending. Did he think at all about what the person watching the movie will take with him after the "END" rolls on? In this case only anger was left accompanied by a feeling of being robbed of my precious time.

Utter trash. The first half is good. The last half a joke. Come on. The lead actress is good. Only thing worth watching. Also her best friend is a good too. But the writing and the utter disdain for audience in terms of conceivability makes this 1/10.