Unlucky Charms

No pun intended - and while it is called the catwalk, there is no running in this movie. There is a fair amount of nudity in this though. Which you should not mind - not negatively that is. I am a bit of a sucker for b-horror movies like this. The actors/models are doing a decent job. This is as flawed as it can be - but it also knows of its shortcomings and still is able to be entertaining to a degree.

Yes the judges are cliche - to the point where they are more annoying than funny. But you can also have fun with the make up (be it the "monsters", human or non human). This really is not trying to hide what it is - a fun little movie that does not take itself to seriously. Treat it as such and you'll be alright. Charming, isn't it (sorry for the pun)?

UNLUCKY CHARMS

The second terrible movie of my birthday night was Unlucky Charms. I thought that it couldn't get much worst after Piranhaconda... but I was so wrong.

Unlucky Charms is about a reality TV show for models. They are all trying to get the top prize, but one of the judges has got a magic charm bracelet that lets out these creatures who kill off the contestants so that she can have their souls and stay looking young.

Sounds rubbish right? It was worst than that.

I honestly can only think of one good thing to say about this movie. There was one character in the film that I really liked. He was one of the creatures and he had this huge mouth. The mask and make up was terrible, but I just thought he looked really good.

The story was so bad... I hate these reality shows anyway... so to make a movie from it is just hell foe me. The only reality show that appeared in a story that I loved was Dead Set. I can't stand watching these women pretty much begging to be a model. I can't think of anything worst.

The acting was diabolical. Every single person in this film should never be put in front of a camera again! Name and shame time... Jessica Lou Allen, Peter Donald Badalamenti II, Roman Beetz, Sophia Beetz and Anna Sophia Berglund... lower your heads in shame.

Again just like Piranhaconda, there were plenty of half naked women posing and bouncing about for absolutely no reason. In the end we were just laughing, saying we should get a clicker to count how many times there are pointless shots of women's butts.

The worst part for me was the fact that this film didn't even have the comedy value. I laughed a few times at pretty much everything in this film, but once you got about 30 minutes in, there is not much laughter after that.

The effects and make up were terrible. You could clearly see the monsters were just wearing rubber masks. They didn't even attempt to blend in the eye sockets. what a joke.

I suggest avoiding this film at all costs... it is close to being one of the worst movies I have seen... not quite though.

I will give this film 2 out of 10.

Not even worth a quote!

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Well, lots can be said about the 2013 movie "Unlucky Charms". But if you are a fan of the movie from Full Moon Features then you know what you are getting yourself into when you sit down to watch "Unlucky Charms".

And I will say that this 2013 movie from writers Charles Band, Domonic Muir and Kent Roudebush was actually a step up from the usual movies that I have seen from Full Moon Features. Sure, this wasn't by any means a milestone within the horror genre, but it was a campy enough horror movie that was suitable for watching.

The storyline told in "Unlucky Charms" was easy to follow, though it wasn't a scary story, nor a particularly outstanding or memorable story. So the movie made for a less than mediocre viewing experience. I must admit that I was expecting a bit more in the horror department for a movie from Full Moon Features.

The acting performances in the movie were bland, but of course it wasn't exactly award-winning performers that participated in the movie. And for a movie of this caliber, then "Unlucky Charms" did manage to deliver the type of acting performances that I was expecting.

Visually then "Unlucky Charms" was a rather mixed bag of nuts. I mean, some of the effects were actually good enough, while others were nothing more than cheap latex masks put on the performers without even an active effort done to make the transition from latex mask to skin seem realistic.

I am sure that there is an audience out there for these type of cheesy movies, otherwise Full Moon Features wouldn't still be around.

My rating of "Unlucky Charms" lands on a less than mediocre four out of ten stars.

This review may reveal plot points, so spoiler alert. This is a stinky pile of trash. Bear in mind I have loved Full Moon since the VHS days and I appreciate what they often succeed at doing with their unusual movies, but this one stunk it up! Let's do some of this in question format. Who was that red guy and what was wrong with his face? Who were the others, exactly? Why did they indiscriminately "greenbeam" people with varying results? Why did they "greenbeam" those 2 and kill them? If you are killing bad people, why did that #1 bitch not get it first or at all? I wanted her to die and she did not! How did that black lady have control of everything and why didn't she have more control than she did? Why did the creatures oppose her, exactly, and why did they seem so weak also? There was no real plot, no explanation of their "plot", no conclusions or anything. Bad effects and senseless deaths where the victims just vanished forever. It would have been cool if that one "bitch" was turned fat and then stayed fat and maybe the others could have been similarly punished for their wickedness and then maybe have the chubby or the mean one win out for their sincerity or purity of heart or whatever. The best part was that it just ended, oh and some of the acting was just awful. Terrible movie, even for Full Moon. Please get some help with the script writing, I think Charles is overworked with that AND the music and all.

Looking to win a modeling competition, a group of girls at a remote Gothic mansion trying to get the top prize are slowly removed by a greedy entrepreneur in the competition through the use of powerful leprechaun gemstones, and when they get tired of being pawns strike back against their plans.

This was quite a fun cheesefest. That in itself is the greatest aspect featured here which runs rampant throughout the film. This is apparent from the very beginning with the introduction to the Leprechaun and the other monsters attempting to look into the human world and to segue from that into one of the hokiest excuses for a modeling show which looks incredibly cheap and low-rent if it were a real show. Getting to see the monsters run around the mansion conducting their brand of mayhem on the competition is all the more fun for how long it goes on into the film before they find out what's going on as their mischievous antics allow for some cheesy fun here. Manipulating themselves into looking like the others which not only allows for some cheesy nudity but also giving off the chance to see their magical powers in action and all that entails. Overall, this is the best aspect of this one. The main aspect holding this one back is the sheer audacity of the premise which is decidedly so goofy it's impossible to take seriously. Indeed, that is the whole point here with this one but the make-up work is truly laughable in terms of their overall appearance as each of the creatures has something to dislike. The Leprechaun's frizzy hair and slick face glean in the light unnecessarily, the cyclops' face is nearly immobile, making it's source materials obvious and the oracles are just silly expressionless masks. That goes together with the constant fantasy-laden magic effects and a lighter tone through the constant spying on everyone looking to find the source of the missing magic to create far more of a comedic-fantasy than a genuine horror film, especially in the latter half where the mischievous beings are revealed to be controlled by evil forces all along and all the horror elements are dropped considerably. When you don't fear the main creatures, the film has issues that are hard to overcome.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language, Nudity, Violence and a mild sex scene.