Unlucky Charms

Well, lots can be said about the 2013 movie "Unlucky Charms". But if you are a fan of the movie from Full Moon Features then you know what you are getting yourself into when you sit down to watch "Unlucky Charms".

And I will say that this 2013 movie from writers Charles Band, Domonic Muir and Kent Roudebush was actually a step up from the usual movies that I have seen from Full Moon Features. Sure, this wasn't by any means a milestone within the horror genre, but it was a campy enough horror movie that was suitable for watching.

The storyline told in "Unlucky Charms" was easy to follow, though it wasn't a scary story, nor a particularly outstanding or memorable story. So the movie made for a less than mediocre viewing experience. I must admit that I was expecting a bit more in the horror department for a movie from Full Moon Features.

The acting performances in the movie were bland, but of course it wasn't exactly award-winning performers that participated in the movie. And for a movie of this caliber, then "Unlucky Charms" did manage to deliver the type of acting performances that I was expecting.

Visually then "Unlucky Charms" was a rather mixed bag of nuts. I mean, some of the effects were actually good enough, while others were nothing more than cheap latex masks put on the performers without even an active effort done to make the transition from latex mask to skin seem realistic.

I am sure that there is an audience out there for these type of cheesy movies, otherwise Full Moon Features wouldn't still be around.

My rating of "Unlucky Charms" lands on a less than mediocre four out of ten stars.

No pun intended - and while it is called the catwalk, there is no running in this movie. There is a fair amount of nudity in this though. Which you should not mind - not negatively that is. I am a bit of a sucker for b-horror movies like this. The actors/models are doing a decent job. This is as flawed as it can be - but it also knows of its shortcomings and still is able to be entertaining to a degree.

Yes the judges are cliche - to the point where they are more annoying than funny. But you can also have fun with the make up (be it the "monsters", human or non human). This really is not trying to hide what it is - a fun little movie that does not take itself to seriously. Treat it as such and you'll be alright. Charming, isn't it (sorry for the pun)?

UNLUCKY CHARMS

The second terrible movie of my birthday night was Unlucky Charms. I thought that it couldn't get much worst after Piranhaconda... but I was so wrong.

Unlucky Charms is about a reality TV show for models. They are all trying to get the top prize, but one of the judges has got a magic charm bracelet that lets out these creatures who kill off the contestants so that she can have their souls and stay looking young.

Sounds rubbish right? It was worst than that.

I honestly can only think of one good thing to say about this movie. There was one character in the film that I really liked. He was one of the creatures and he had this huge mouth. The mask and make up was terrible, but I just thought he looked really good.

The story was so bad... I hate these reality shows anyway... so to make a movie from it is just hell foe me. The only reality show that appeared in a story that I loved was Dead Set. I can't stand watching these women pretty much begging to be a model. I can't think of anything worst.

The acting was diabolical. Every single person in this film should never be put in front of a camera again! Name and shame time... Jessica Lou Allen, Peter Donald Badalamenti II, Roman Beetz, Sophia Beetz and Anna Sophia Berglund... lower your heads in shame.

Again just like Piranhaconda, there were plenty of half naked women posing and bouncing about for absolutely no reason. In the end we were just laughing, saying we should get a clicker to count how many times there are pointless shots of women's butts.

The worst part for me was the fact that this film didn't even have the comedy value. I laughed a few times at pretty much everything in this film, but once you got about 30 minutes in, there is not much laughter after that.

The effects and make up were terrible. You could clearly see the monsters were just wearing rubber masks. They didn't even attempt to blend in the eye sockets. what a joke.

I suggest avoiding this film at all costs... it is close to being one of the worst movies I have seen... not quite though.

I will give this film 2 out of 10.

Not even worth a quote!

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I was very impressed and entertained by the first 2/3rds of this one. The last 3rd is predictable and anti-climatic (run out of money?, but most of the film is funny, quick and very well shot. This is bizarre for Full Moon's catalogue, but especially their recent decline. Full Moon founder Charles Band directs so that explains why there's more energy and attention paid here. Its the cast and screenwriters that really save this, but Band's directing is more competent and free here than his earlier, drab and overly serious films. The film grows repetitive and too stupid, but its a good time-waster. I'm glad Full Moon has finally added minorities and gays to their films but unfortunately its still as comedy and villains. Even on his best day, Charles Band seems 20 years behind the culture. Thats a plus and a minus.

I'm a big fan of bad but entertaining movies. Unfortunately this one is just bad.

The majority of the film is a fictional depiction of an America's Top New Model sort of competition, and is just as annoying (when it isn't boring). The main difference is that the women don't look anorexic, which is quite welcome, but unfortuantely most of their mass is plastic.

Oddly for a film whose main appeal (besides horror) is meant to be T and A, the one and only sex scene involves a woman who goes out of her way to awkwardly cover up her breasts with her arms. Because, you know, one always feels the need to be modest in front of whoever they're having sex with. There is another nude scene, but largely of appeal to fans of beachballs.

As for the horror: That part of the plot seems to have been almost completely forgotten. Most of the makeup is mediocore (for some reason they have a leprachaun who isn't even all that bad a person looking like he has bad eczema). And the visuals of the film give it the look and visual mood of a kids show like The Wriggles. No shadows, bright saturated colours, etc. Even in the age of digital replacing film, most directors still manage to create some mood. Not here.

Charles Band at least remains a competent music composer, but you've now heard it all in his previous films.