Before I Disappear

I stumbled across it on Netflix, not expecting much, and was wildly surprised. It's beautiful and very well written and executed. A gorgeously poignant mood permeates the piece throughout, creating a near perfect setting. What could be a timeless story has just the right amount of contemporary sheen and grime and it delivers charm, heart, tears and pain all in enveloping beauty. Well directed, well shot and acted; just lovely really. If you can relate to equal amounts of hopelessness, depression and the blissful joy of life, you'll love this. What a gem by this new filmmaker. No gunfights, no car chases and no explosions, true. It was all done with an engaging story, cast and setting. Nicely sprinkled doses of subtle dark humor are also used just when they're needed. I love this film.

100% spoiler-free.

I watched the short-film Curfew (2012) first, which is on YT, and then I watched this full-length film of 2014.

I think that this is a beautiful story that shows themes such as life, death, love, pain, hopelessness, hope, loneliness, depression, emptiness, discovering a reason to live for, and second chances.

The story felt so real it must be based on real events, even though it is never claimed it is based on a true story, I believe it must be. Nobody comes up with such a ridiculously plausible plot out of imagination. The ending was good too. Overall, a meaningful story that left me thinking and wondering about life, and may leave you doing the same.

Shawn Christensen - he wrote the story, directed the film, and was one of the two protagonists. I think he wrote a fine story, and directed it well, and his acting of a 'terminally' hopeless man was believable enough and good enough to carry the story.

Fátima Ptacek - she did a great job; enjoyable to watch. Great acting. If Shawn was the darkness, then she was the light of this film.

Emmy Rossum - I thought she did a great job too, especially towards the end, that scene she absolutely nailed it.

Supporting cast - they did fine. Ron Perlman (from Hellboy) and Paul Wesley (from Vampire Diaries) were in this film; I wonder how they were afforded to be in it. Their acting was fine.

Producer Damon Russell and Cinematographer Daniel Katz, and everyone else who helped make this beautiful film - thanks.

Movie theme song - "Sophia So Far" by Goodnight Radio (2013). I am so thankful the movie released this full version of the song. It is first played during a really nice scene in the movie and also at the end of the film. This song instantly makes one think about the film.

Conclusion: I think this is a beautiful story with multiple underlying themes about things like hope, love, life, death, and second chances. Watched it 2x so far, will surely watch it again in the future. It is a good film and it is worth a watch and recommending.

9/10

Before I Disappear (2014)

I almost didn't give this a chance because it starts with a lot of moments—and scenes— made for effect. I was worried that it was all about creating a party scene underworld in Brooklyn and the characters and plot would suffer. Wrong. It clicks by the end.

One problem might be (at first)—there are no sympathetic characters. I know we are supposed to relate to the lead, Richie played by Shawn Christensen. But he's so abusive and violent at times, and frankly stupid (or misguided), it's hard to be on his side. More likely we just watch and marvel.

In a way, the little girl who is the pivot around which everything eventually moves is also annoying—a little brat. She's played by Fatima Ptacek, and we eventually warm to her, too. Her mother (Richie's sister) is completely annoying, and the various "friends" and work associates of Richie are also unpleasant.

But that's part of the idea. Richie is surrounded by an ominous, negative world. He works as a janitor in a lively late night club, and the throbbing darkness there wears everyone out—the club owner, the patrons (one of whom is found dead), and Richie. It's a terrific setting for a movie however, and one of the amazing qualities of this film is the way it creates these sleazy, drugged up—and no doubt exciting—scenes so well.

By the end of the movie I was totally into it. I wish I hadn't had to wait to long to like it so much, but sometimes the best movies demand a little perseverance. I suggest giving this a long-sighted try.

"Before I Disappear" was birthed from director Shawn Christensen's 2013 short film "Curfew," which won Best Live Action Short Film at the Academy Awards that year. I remember watching the short film and simply being captivated by its portrayal of ugly yet realistic characters in a seamy environment, so much so that I called it "a wonderful exercise in style, emotion, human interaction, and existential purpose." With the accolades and recognition "Curfew" received, it was only a matter of time before the short would be adapted into a feature-length project, and, thankfully, the core focus of the film and its characters didn't find themselves lost in translation.

This is a film of tone, realism and germane surrealism, and companionship, four ideas that one would assume would make for an awkward, uneven film but mesh so well together thanks to Christensen's carefulness that the end product is something to behold. The film concerns Ritchie (Christensen), an aimless and depressed twentysomething working for a seedy nightclub run by Bill (Ron Perlman). His will to live is waning day-by-day after his girlfriend Vista has mysteriously disappeared, and, upon finding the corpse of a young female in the nightclub bathroom, Ritchie is ready to call it quits.

He goes home, fills a bathtub full of water, and proceeds to take a sharp razor and slit his wrists, ending his miserable existence. His suicide attempt is interrupted by Maggie ("Shameless"'s Emmy Rossum), who phones him asking to pick up her eleven-year-old daughter Sophia (Fátima Ptacek, who voices Dora on "Dora the Explorer") from school and look after her while she takes care of other things. Reluctantly, Richie exits hit bloody bathtub, bandages his wrists, throws on old clothes, lights a cigarette and heads off to pick Sophia up. Sophia is exactly the kind of precocious tot that Richie needs in his life, regardless of whether or not he knows it. Sophia is meticulous, organized, and grounded in a world where all there is is homework and poetry. She's drawn realistically and not conjured up from the barrage of clichés one expect from this character. She's sensitively played by Ptacek, who is only fourteen-years-old, and just when you think her character is a caricature, she surprises and comes to be a wonderful addition to not only the story but Richie's life.

Richie and Sophia wander the streets, with Richie being hunted by loansharks and mob bosses for his failure to pay back old debts, going from several seedy locations before finding some sort of solace and connection at a bowling alley. This scene is almost identical in structure and setup as "Curfew," but with it being bookended by more familiarity and involvement with the characters, it takes on a greater significance. It provides for a momentary discourse in Richie's miserable existence, as he watches Sophia freely dance down the lane of the alley, with people shaking their hips with bowling balls in their hands at the front of each lane. This adds to the surrealism aspect I mentioned earlier, in that while "Before I Disappear" explores realistically-drawn characters with serious problems and shortcomings, it also welcomes intriguing surrealism into the mix, bending the reality our disillusioned character lives in. Consider when Richie takes a handful of menopause pills (which he believes are sleeping pills that will turn fatal if he takes enough) and hallucinates one of his collectors coming after him; it's one of the greatest surrealist scenes in a film predicated off of being human and realistic.

"Before I Disappear" has received the most flak from people who saw "Curfew," weren't a big fan of it to begin with, and then cringed at the thought of watching the short stretched out for ninety-three minutes. Those who enter blindly, and have never seen "Curfew," will likely get the most enjoyment out of it, or those, like me, who enjoy stories about believable and real characters, will find several things to appreciate.

I give this an 8 and I don't do it lightly. I'm also not rating it highly as an indie, it's good compared to any project. This movie is absolutely haunting. The writer has a deep understand of people and displays them so realistically. I really liked the fact that it didn't have cliché characters. The "gangsters" don't do what you expect them to do. The things people did in this movie weren't over the top, it felt very real.

The cinematography and shots were fantastic in this movie. It was at times like a dream or an acid trip and it never felt out of place. The transitions between hallucinations and real life were not stark and abrupt like in other movies where someone is tripping. Shawn Christensen is going to be the director to watch out for in the future. The casting was perfect. Everybody was good. I just dislike Ron Perlman because he gets cast in this type of role in so many movies that it's starting to be a cliché, still he was great.

Christensen is also a great writer. This movie was at once deeply sad and entertaining. Casting Fatima Ptecek as Sophia was perfect. She was the pillar of light for Richie's darkness and she was just a delight to watch. There really is something special about Ptecek. She's the next Abigail Breslin.