Honey Don't!

I was eagerly anticipating this film. Finally saw it yesterday and almost walked out to demand a refund. It was a snooze fest, literally. I dosed off several times. The number of empty seats in the theatre was an indication of what I should have expected. Frankly, they should have just made it a porn flick instead of whatever this is. Don't bother seeing this. It's awful.

Say what you will about the Coen brothers. I usually don't. But at least you can tell when a movie is made by them. This one you can't, aside from the usual gratuitous violence.

Chris Evans sermon is quite funny, and it's by far the best scene in the film. Most scenes he's in warrant a laugh at some point, but nothing else in the movie (labeled a comedy somehow) is funny. Has Ethan never talked to a human before? I do not know how the actors got through one take without laughing. The writing is atrocious and non-sensical. The movie as a whole felt like Ethan Coen was personally offended that 40's hardboiled detective movies didn't have enough lesbians, floor brains, and genital references, and that it was his job to reconcile that. Aubrey Plaza is one of the best actresses working today and her performance was cringe inducing. Margaret Qualley was doing a xanaxed Humphrey Bogaert impression and my goodness if these actors had had any level of self awareness that they were in a terrible movie and leaned into it, it could have been funny. They played it so straight (gay) to yawn-inducing results. Has to be one of the worst ensemble performances in recent memory. The movie doesn't crack 90 minutes even with a 7 minute long dialogue-free opening and over 5 minute long credits. I do not know how they can get away with selling a ticket to that in theaters. You are not given enough time to learn or care anything about these caricatures, though it's so inept at establishing any premise that even if we got 4 hours of this it would just be multiplying a fraction by 2 over 2. Sure the number is different, but it still means the same thing.

Honey, you got a big storm comin!

L would have traded some of the sex for some plot development. I wanted to care but couldn't. Some funny moments. Life in a trailer home, The wicked pastor. But what was the movie about? I don't know. Great scenery as our leading lady cruises around the starkness of the city that could be anywhere USA.

The movie had all the ingredients but came out as dull as grandma's green jello.

Just about every scene from the trailer that lured us to the theatre was bogged down with emotionless, carefree scene-ploitation of Honey's polygamy as the centerpiece. While Margaret's acting isn't lackluster, the supporting motif and cast didn't add anything to this soulless film.

Ultimately, not a great film despite its' old school backdrop, and 1/2 of the Coen brothers in the director's chair (notice the lower case 'D'). At one point during the film, I asked myself if I cared about any of the characters or Honey's plight... My answer was a resounding, "Nope. I don't care about a single character in this empty shell of a film."

This is a movie that very literally has no point. At any given point in time there are 3 plots circulating around it. Plot #1 what honey is doing, which seems to be some kind of version of being a P. I. but not really doing much in the way of investigating besides for getting nowhere fast with it. #2 What the pastor is doing, from what I can see he's got something shady going on which is a mix of some sort with his sex based church. And #3 the actual movie plot which is anyone's guess since there's no real way to make heads or tails of it. And that's about it. I wish I could tell you that they all run together in the end and make some grand reveal, they don't.

5/10 good acting, no idea what these plots are suppose to be, this is something to watch if you're bored and want to waste some time.