Teddiscare

Like watching a car crash involving people you despise.

The main character is what would happen if Stephen Stills and Joe Walsh merged into one person who regressed into a childlike state when presented with plush toys.

And for being utter garbage of an amateurish movie of totally worthless detritus, it is a very plot-heavy affair. We learn that when it comes to orphans, they will only accept organic stuffed animals. Who knew.

Okay. So for all the horrible acting, and ketchup for blood, and Bill Bailey dressed as a preacher but playing a lawyer, the little shovel , and the red hot chef love subplot, this movie has a message. And that message is: anyone can get their friends and their cellphones together and shot each other doing silly, unstable things in order to get an IMDb credit.

After Duncan's father dies and makes him swear on his death bed not to go in the woods.. Duncan goes in the woods. But he finds some old playtime friends, yay! And a sorta conspiracy?

The creepiest part of this was definately the grown man baby-talking with stuffed animals out in the woods, roasting them marshmallows and reading them books. Shame this wasn't Winnie the Pooh like it was intended to be

Very, very slow with a lot of scenes that extend way too long. Pretty atrocious acting, lol Really would only appeal to a very particular person, and I guess that's me? Dumb, but kinda cute (although, I'll say this a far cry from Feeders).

People will probably say 'oh another Indiegogo film,' or 'another polonia disaster,' but not me. I do not understand why people criticise Mark, every time I see a film by this man I find myself laughing and enjoying the film. He is good. Ron Bonk won't work with him if he wasn't.

Teddiscare is another example of Marks ability to assemble an relatively unknown cast and get a good mixture of scares, fun, laughter into one hour or so. Teddi might not have matched the poster but that was always going to be a difficult task as he is an actor, not a mutant teddy.

Teddiscare is a 7 for me and I look forward to the next polonia film.

This movies is up there with the worst I have seen. It comes a close second too terror at bigfoot pond, another shocker. To call anyone a STAR in this movie is a huge stretch because the "acting" was atrocious. At one stage the "actor" being chased by the guy in the bear suit had to slow down so he could catch up. The plot itself isn't too bad but the movie lacks direction, acting ability and dare I say a budget. The movie wasted a lot of time going over the same ground it had already covered which was very annoying. This movie, even shortened to 30 minutes (which would have made more sense) would still be Too long. Give it a BIG miss guys. There are much much better movies out there.

Needless to say that I had never actually heard about the 2024 horror movie "Teddiscare" prior to sitting down to watch it. I happened to stumble upon the movie by random luck, and I have to say that the movie's cover was actually interesting enough to make me stop and take notice. It had a very 1980s classic horror feel to it, and that is what drew me in.

However, had I known that this was a Mark Polonia movie, then I would have avoided it like the plague. Yeah, that guy just doesn't make good movies. For some reason it feels like he has made a sport out of finding the most inept and untalented actors and actresses. And "Teddiscare" was no different.

The movie is terrible. No doubt about it, and the cover was the best thing about the ordeal. In fact, the movie's cover had nothing to do with the movie, as it was merely a guy walking around in a teddy bear mascot costume bought off of Wish. So yeah, it was a major disappointment to see that.

I wouldn't have to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, except for Jeff Kirkendall, whom apparently is in every single Mark Polonia movie. The acting performances in "Teddiscare" were nothing to write home about.

Visually, then this movie is bad. Especially the CGI animated blood spray. That was just horrible to look at.

Now, I am sure that there is a small niche of hardcore Mark Polonia fans out there that will find some perverse enjoyment in "Teddiscare". But for the casual viewer and those wanting to be entertained by a proper movie, then don't waste 82 minutes of your life on watching this dumpster fire of a movie. Some of us suffered through this, so you don't have to; you're very welcome.

My rating of "Teddiscare" lands on a two out of ten stars.