Drive Hard

..I really do.

This is nothing more than a poorly conceived and executed advertisement for the Queensland Gold Coast hinterland. The kind of movie where the action (such as it is) limps from one rube-magnet tourist trap to the next, with the camera dwelling jarringly on the signage at each new location along the way.

I can't think of a single reason to recommend this film - but plenty to recommend against it. Fans of Mr Cusack or Mr Jane will descend quickly from confusion, to dismay, to disgust as they realise the dross the two have allowed themselves to be party to. The endless succession of car chases is unimaginative and unmoving. The performances so lifeless the cast may as well have been reciting directly from the page.

The most interesting thing about this movie is its utter, utter, utter absence of wit, style or inspiration. It will leave you genuinely searching, grasping, for reasons why a group of adults with money would possibly choose to produce something like this - something so inanely artless. My god, if you're going to take the effort to get out of bed and point a camera at something, why (how!) would you not come up with something more satisfying - something more worthy of being put before a paying audience?

I really need to take a shower. This was not just forgettable - it was depressing. Beyond pointless.

Poor John Cusack. Not only is he fading from appearing in major Hollywood movies, he had to go all the way to Australia to work on this direct to DVD effort. I wonder why he signed on, since he is so grossly miscast here, not the least bit convincing as a bank robber with a crafty scheme. His co-star Thomas Jane isn't that much better, namely because he fails to win sympathy for his character despite being an innocent man forced into a complicated situation. Though some blame for that has to go to the writing, which is also guilty for churning up very familiar situations and dialogue - there's little freshness here. Director Brian Trenchard Smith (who also co-wrote the sorry screenplay) doesn't add any spark seated behind the camera - the little action there is is not the least bit exciting, and the feel of the entire enterprise often comes across as one from a television show. This is one DULL movie. The best I can say for this movie is that it's better than the Ethan Hawke movie "Getaway" - but not by much.

Peter Roberts (Thomas Jane) is a former racing car driver who moved to Australia for his new wife as she regarded racing as dangerous and now makes a living as a driving instructor.

Simon Keller (John Cusack) shows up for a driving lesson but his motive is to get Roberts as a getaway driver, forcibly if necessary for a bank robbery which is part of a scheme to get back at an ex business associate.

Before long the police or after them, his ex business associate has sent his goons to get them, everywhere they stop, the locals try to apprehend them with guns and Roberts and Keller bicker and hatch up a plan that Keller will persuade the police that Roberts was kidnapped if he helps Keller.

The film is rather messy, very silly but somehow it keeps you entertained. There is enough knockabout humour between Thomas and Jane to keep you watching. How these two Americans end up in the Gold Coast of Australia is not a question even worth bothering with. The film chugs along in its bizarre, low budget way.

The biggest concern I have is that I hope this is not the beginning of Cusack's career as a straight to DVD actor.

"You didn't hire me, you kidnapped me." Peter Roberts (Jane) is a former race car driver who gave up his dream because his new wife didn't like it. He now spends his days giving driving lessons to teenagers. When Simon Keller (Cusack) shows up for a lesson Roberts isn't excited about the way he drives and takes the keys. When they stop at a bank so Keller can get money to pay he runs out with cops after him and tells Roberts to drive. Now Roberts is wanted has an accomplice but Keller says he will be able to make sure Roberts goes free but he has to help first. Going in I was thinking (probably like you) a movie with Cusack and Jane, woo hoo. Going off that expectation I was disappointed. The main problem with this movie is that is isn't consistent at all. Some parts are very exciting and entertaining while others are so slow moving I found my mind wandering. Surprisingly the best part of this movie is the dialog and interaction between Cusack and Jane. All of the action sequences are repetitive and generic. For a movie that talks about car racing there is really only one chase and it's not a very good one at all. There really isn't a whole lot else to say about this one. Overall, the reason to watch is the interaction between Cusack and Jane. It's actually almost better to just skip to those scenes and skip the rest of the movie. I was very disappointed with this. I give it a C.

I'm not exactly sure why I finished watching it. It's not quite as terrible as some of the reviews insist, but it's never much above slightly amusing. I found Thomas Jane sort of fun, with his Chris-Lambert-but-not-quite-as-strange look. He actually did a little work here and there and was pleasant. Grumblings about John Cusack's job are somewhat on the money. It occurs to me that there were really only two actual laugh-out-loud moments for me, and I' not giving them away, just in case you watch it. Too bad. It was loosely assembled from a collection of sort of funny possibilities. If you have some spare time to watch it for completeness, you won't regret it really, but that's about as much of a recommendation as I can drum up. Too bad.