The Disappearance of Lenka Wood

This might seem like a standard thriller/movie, but maybe it does have at least something that will surprise you. Just the fact that we do get a bit of a back-story through flashbacks from our main character, to show where he came from, is the movie trying to show you, that it is more than just that one plot (described very neatly in the actually long title of the movie).

The acting is below average at best, but the ending might either fool you into liking this more or make you hate it, because you don't like it. So it's a make or break and while I have seen worse movies than this, it is pretty low standard and has not many things to savor ...

I begin to know who Paul Tanter is; it's a sort of British Uwe Boll, a director who gives us interesting schemes, such as this one, with a TERRIFIC twist ending, but so badly made, acted and edited. Paul Tanter is probably the worst film maker UK has ever had, but I always enjoy his films. They are enjoyable, corny but watchable, silly but surprising at moments you would never guess. This movie is very offbeat, because it points out the torture American soldiers did in Irak against, native and hostile prisoners. Do not watch it as a masterpiece but a better than expected, announced and commented grade B picture.

Yes, don't be angry with me, but I love this crap, and I recommend it. That's the way I am. Always fair and objective. I don't confound a film I like with a good movie, or a movie I dislike with a bad movie. Unlike so many folks unfortunately do.

But I admit that the best part of the film is during the last five minutes.

Very cheap produced film with some interesting parts in storytelling but the twist at the end didn't make any sense 7f you think about it a bit. Why is she lying tortured in her cell fully involved in the plan to revenge the dead of her husband? Didn't make any sense! The performances are mediocre, sometimes a bit less. A better director, a more logical script and better cast and higher production level would this make better. Lenka Wood sounds like a place where you would have to fight giant spiders in The Witcher. I'm pretty sure the number one thing a thriller movie is supposed to be is thrilling, somebody should have told the director that. Solid ending for such a bad movie though.

I don't think I have the words in my vocabulary to convey how terrible this movie is. Stilted, overwrought, contrived -- even these words fall short of describing the amateurish drivel that is the screenplay for The Disappearance of Lenka Wood.

Maybe it's best to let the film speak for itself. Here is an excerpt from the second act:

Army Guy: Next time, I'll cut your leg open. Then you'll have three wounds, and only two hands. You get to choose which one stays open.

Corrupt Cop: please, ill tell you where she's being kept

Army Guy: write it down for me

Corrupt Cop: I don't have a pen!

Army Guy: You can use your own blood!

I expected this to be a poor movie, but it was worse than poor. According to IMDb the budget was $1.5 million but if that's the case, $1.49 million was spent on catering I think. A few things without giving away the movie to clue you in.

1 - There are guys carrying assault rifles, but they have shotgun shells around their waist.

2 - There is a rich woman with bodyguards and a chauffeur. She is being driven around in her ultra high-end $17k Hyundai Elantra.

3 - Think of the worst karaoke singer you have ever heard in your life. Well, the best actor in this move has less acting skills than that person did singing.

I must admit, I was not able to make I through the movie, it was just too terrible.