My Old Lady

I thought this was going to be a gentle comedy. Instead it turned out to be a tale of sadness and redemption. I enjoyed that more.

Wow. Though my childhood upbringing does not mirror that of the characters in this movie, I come from a toxic childhood. The pain and dysfunction of these characters resonated with me in a profound way. Narcissistic parents can abuse their children and all those around them without overt verbal abuse and without ever laying a hand on them, and sometimes, that type of abuse can inflict the worst kind of lasting trauma and psychological damage. Living under the burden of your parents' sins can be a crushing lifelong weight. While they live their life exactly as they see fit every single day of their lives with no regard for the consequences or the fallout for those around them, when they have children, it's their children that pay the highest price for their parents' sins of constantly seeking and receiving instant gratification. Instant gratification is something that many parents will steer their children away from after the age of 2 or 3-years-old in favor of more thoughtful, considerate, long-term rewards. However, children of narcissists are denied gratification growing up, as their parents claim it all for themselves, and the pied piper must be paid. Ironically, the trauma is compounded by the fact that narcissists absolutely believe themselves to be the best and most loving parents any child could have, giving themselves God-like status, who can do no wrong in their own minds. When someone gets hurt, they will say that it was meant to be, and they will tell any lie necessary to fit that narrative. Children want and need most of all to be loved, cherished, and valued. Children of narcissists grow up without having those basic needs met. Instead, they become useful tools, and they're "lucky" if they also become attractive possessions to their parents. The flip side of that is that if they are not their parent's tool or an attractive possession, then they are of no value to their parent. I found Kevin Kline's Mathias authentic and believable. His pain was palpable. Maggie Smith did an excellent job, as well. I thought her brave to play Mathilde Girard, as Mrs. Girard is not likable. Kirsten Scott Thomas' performance was very good, too, once you discover the personal damage she's concealed. This is a quiet film. The story unfolds slowly, which was exactly how I needed to see it play out. I felt like I was eavesdropping, like I was lurking and seeing and hearing what was not for me to know just as Mathias and Chloé lived under the burden of their parents' lies, and through no fault and no choice of their own, had become a very part of the front designed to disguise the lies for an entire lifetime. If all of this seems completely foreign to your experience, you may completely despise this movie. This may be a trigger for some. Or maybe, you'll begin to discover that the burden you carry was bestowed upon you by those, who should have loved and sheltered you the most. Without your consent, those sins are not really your burden. The lies are not your truth. Maybe your perspective will be changed however slight. The discovery of a common thread can lead to an epiphany if only a small one. The three lead characters carried this well all the way to its satisfying end. Watch, and if you feel that your soul was damaged long ago by means beyond your control, take this short journey with Mathias, Mathilde, and Chloé, and hopefully, find a bit of solace in the truth.

The whole film is shot in Paris and many of the scenes are simply drippingly gorgeous. It is a very charming movie, with some heavy undertones and one I will watch again. There's a good message in it. Loved Dominique Pinon as the real estate agent. Kristin Scott Thomas is so good, mixing up mean and nasty with tenderness and self-awareness. Maggie is a stitch and just superb! Kevin excellently portrays a man who is down and out, carrying around emotional baggage. Stéphane Freiss always seems to play a neurotic Frenchman, but he does frenzied well. Many times I laughed out loud in this movie! I've studied French my whole life, but learned a new word in this movie: viager. I am surprised critics have come down so hard on it. But, I am almost as old as Kevin Kline, I adore Paris, I love movies where you can laugh and still be brought to tears and ones that have a good message.

Went to see this today based on the trailer, from which I thought it was a comedy. It is funny, but also serious and engaging. Liked it much more than I thought I would and would definitely recommend it. At the end I realized that I would want to watch it again to see the themes of relationship as I then understood them with hindsight. The three principal actors are all excellent in their roles and in their relationships with each other. It felt honest and not pretentious or 'preachy', but definitely deep and engaging.

No one ends up the hero in this film, but that is often how real life often turns out.

This is a very simple film and because it is brilliantly cast and directed, the result is excellence. Simplicity is something we rarely see these days yet it is something we crave in these very complex times. There are really only three characters in this film and so the casting was paramount. It pretty much goes without saying that Maggie Smith in the lead role is just perfect - as she always is. By coincidence, I re-watched Grand Marigold Hotel the following evening, and saw her playing a totally different person with a totally different voice. That is a skill that few modern actors can manage well. More of a surprise to me was Kevin Kline. I remember him in manic roles - typecast or that's how he is I do not know, but in this film he gave a beautifully measured and emotional performance with only a few glimmers of the manic! Finally Kristin Scott-Thomas was just excellent as she always is. Rarely does an actress gently age so perfectly, and her performance could not have been faulted for a moment - just superb.

Very well lit and photographed in what appeared to be quite confined spaces and with exteriors of Paris that just glowed with it's honey colour there is a visual treat here. And with very well-recorded sound, the film was a joy to watch. If your taste is for quality, quiet and thoughtful, for a well written screenplay based on an excellent story, with excellent actors, then this is a film you will thoroughly enjoy. It will definitely have more appeal to an over 50 or even over 60 audience - younger people will miss out on the subtleness and pathos and not appreciate this film.

The one thing that I simply could not understand was the title of this film. In London-speak, my old lady means my mother! Too late to change now though!

Enjoying a coffee in the café of the cinema, we got talking to an older couple sitting next to us. The man had come especially to see Kristin Scott-Thomas because his granddaughter had been the nanny to one of Kristin's children in Paris. It is a small world.