30 Girls 30 Days

Every once in a while you come across something that just makes you pause and wonder what the hell was up with that. This is one of those things.

I just wanted to test if and how a new VPN worked with Tubi on my tablet, so I randomly clicked on a movie, which was this one. The first scene made it clear that it was apparently an extra raunchy shot-on-video AMERICAN PIE rip-off. I should've stopped by then, but I have to admit the unbelievable amateurishness of it made me continue. Also the actors were obviously really into it. When the grandpa caught the protagonist slamming a sexdoll and happily proclaimed "I have a b-ner! That reminds me of my time in Vietnam!", I actually let out a pretty big laugh.

Then the movie switched to a random nightclub scene which ended with one guy, who hasn't been introduced to us, having a surprisingly explicit threesome. So I thought: "Oh, okay, it's a soft porn." At this point I didn't expect it to be worth my time, yet I didn't quit the movie fast enough and the sheer incompetence of it had me hooked.

And here is the weirdest thing about it: This is an absolutely incompetent movie. Acting, cinematography, editing, writing, all trash. Yet it had a pretty infectious energy. At times it even felt knowingly dumb in all the right ways.

The "story" is about a nerd who needs a whole lot of money to safe his parents' (and his) home. Then he becomes the subject of a bet between two pickup artists, in which one of them is supposed to help any loser (Our protagonist) to bed 30 girls in 30 days.

There aren't really any stakes. We are "treated" to a seemingly endless montage of our nerd hero unsuccessfully hitting on women with the help of the dumbest, most cliched pick up lines. Then 10 minutes later he suddenly knows what's up and we still get a bunch of exactly the same, only that half of the women are suddenly into him.

Sometimes there is a crazy randomness going on. There is for example a subplot about a gangster who wants money from the pick up artists. So suddenly in one scene a bunch of masked robbers with knives show up who all get shot and that's it. At some point near the end our protagonist falls in love and we think "Oh well, now he wants to quit or his new girlfriend gets super mad when she finds out about the bet", but nope, she just organized him a few more chicks to bang and that's it.

I have to point out again: The whole movie is incredibly cheap and amateurish. It looks and sounds like it was edited in camera. I don't know if they had a script or just randomly improvised every morning a bunch of scenes, based on any available location and actors. They obviously had enough money or connections to get a bunch of attractive (yet charmingly normal looking) actresses to get naked to varying degrees and simulate inter course. I'm sure for the "flirt" montages, they just grabbed random pedestrians and told them "He will say something dumb to you, please act annoyed".

And yet, I had a certain amount of fun with it. Not just from laughing at its woefulness. As I mentioned, it has a certain energy that is hard to resist. The guy who plays the main pickup artist got a whole bunch of laughs out of me with the way he just rattled off his lines in a deadpan way. I have no idea if he tried to be Jason Mewes, was an incredibly bad actor whose delivery just hit the right spot by pure accident (Like Jason Mewes) or didn't give a blip about his lines at all and turned out to be a really good improvisor.

In another scene (that was shamelessly stolen from TOMCATS, only worse), one woman starts laughing and I think it was a genuine reaction to her performance. It is too bad that she only had one scene, because in general she seemed to have the time of her life.

This is an inexcusably dumb and awful movie. It's sexist, racist, steals more than once from much better (but not always good) movies and all in all I think it was just an excuse for some guys to film a bunch of hot women having fake inter course. But I can't really hate it. It has that certain "A bunch of friends put a movie together" spark that I love. And I already admitted that I laughed a few times.

I can't really rate this movie but it's certainly a 1 on pure film making metric. Its whole existence is just too weird. Please accept this. I'm begging you!

The movie starts off a bit weird but just stay with it, "Fred" and his buddies absolutely kill it with their funny lines and banter. I don't think this movie could be made in this day and age, but mainly because so many other movies such as American Pie clearly ripped it off.

Columbia, Mo is a great spot to set this movie in and you can still go to the gentlemans club in town and hear the legendary stories, see the sites, and smell the smells. Warning DON'T smell the smells.

This movie literally made families and a few divorces.

A++, would review again. Rest in peace Michael Mahal, I would quote your famous line from this movie, but it's something the audience must hear firsthand.

Pathetic, unfunny, lame. Just terrible in all ways. I like nudity but my lord, after awhile it just gets ridiculous, especially with every woman talking like a porn star.

And it's not funny, ever, at all. No jokes. Actually, I'll give them a few of the pick up one liners but I doubt those were original. There's a million of those around.

The cast is filled with douchebags who seem like they're basically playing themselves. The lead actor is gross and all the lame, stocky middle ages bros made me want to throw up.

What did this cost, around eight bucks?