Jurassic City

This is officially the worst movie I have ever seen. Every single aspect is a train wreck, from the totally implausible plot to the incredibly crappy special effects. The acting is wooden, the dinosaurs came out of a cereal box, the characters are all complete idiots and the script is a disaster.

If you like movies that make you shout at the TV and do shots whenever something really stupid happens, this one's for you. It goes well with alcohol and any snack that can easily be thrown at the screen.

I loved it.

It is just wrong. CGI is cheap, monsters/blood/explosions don't connect to the set, to the lights; editing is awkward, sometimes a kill is full frontal, gory details and all, and sometimes it happens off-screen; story is as thin as you probably guessed, lines vary from utilitarian to abscond, with maybe an attempt at making it into genre sub-culture but unconvincingly so.

And light/camera work is terrible: if you where willing to actually see the faces, the expressions of the people at work in front of you during one of those "let me explain myself" scene, you are out of luck one time out of two - which is, in these times of all-digital processing, kind of a shame.

And it is full of mistakes, big and small, that you'll surely find a list of on this fine website if only people can be coerced to report on them.

I hope the people who worked that film had fun, where getting paid and all that, and legitimately didn't hold too much hopes for the success of that thing.

As much as I enjoyed Attack the Block, Pacific Rim or Independence Day or other stuff that people should obviously watch without taking it the least bit seriously, well, we are seriously into Anaconda III or various alligator/saurian Terribly Bad CGI siblings territory here; this is definitely no Snakes On A Plane.

Horrible acting, even worse animation. A high school crew would have made a better movie. A movie about dinosaurs getting lose in a prison. The dinosaurs were worse animated than Sponge bob. Lighting effects were non-existent. Come on, it's 2014 and you couldn't find a decent graphics artist. Every special effect was like a 15 year old game on the lowest settings. Just please no one watch this movie. Not worth a single second, let be 90 minutes. It was 90 minutes of straight torture. I'm just gonna type nonsense for the last few lines, because there's nothing more to say about this movie. It could be said in one line.. Just do not watch it and please don't let this director or producer make any more movies.

I gave this movie a 2 only because it gave me an opportunity to look at Kevin Gage... if Kevin Gage had not been in this movie I would have turned it off after the first 15 minutes. There is plenty of female eye candy in this movie, I think they might have added those scenes after they realized the movie could not stand on the dinosaur dynamics alone. I am positive not very many people are going to say this is their favorite movie... not even in the top 10,000! But... if you are a Kevin Gage fan it might be worth a gander. I need 2 more lines of text - so I will just say there is some action in this movie, just not enough to make the movie interesting.

This is among the worst films I've ever seen. And I don't mean so bad it's funny. Because it's not even funny. It's just plain bad.I don't even know what's the worst part of it. The "acting", the horrible CGI, the total lack of continuity, the awful script, the talentless directing or the fact that nothing made any sense what-so-ever! And when you react to nothing making sense in a film like this, that says quite a lot. In fact, it was so bad that I decided to take the time to write this review just to save others the time it takes to see it.

Not funny, not scary, not cool, not entertaining. Just... Bad. Do NOT waste your time with this garbage. Watch a funny kind of bad film instead.