Retreat Vama Veche is a disaster from start to finish. The lack of direction, uninspired writing, and mismanagement of characters make it a frustrating watch. It's hard to believe that Romanian filmmakers, with so much cultural richness to draw from, could produce something so superficial and empty. There's no humor, no heart, no artistry-just a disappointing waste of time and potential.
The film goes nowhere, quite literally. The premise of a getaway to Vama Veche is misleading, as most of the so-called "action" unfolds in a villa or back in Bucharest. There's no trace of the bohemian, carefree vibe that makes Vama Veche iconic. Instead, we get an incoherent series of events that feel like filler material rather than a story. The plot, if we can call it that, meanders aimlessly with no real conflict, resolution, or meaning. It's as though the writers were making it up as they went along, scribbling dialogue between takes.
The characters are one of the film's biggest failures. Each one feels plucked from a completely different movie, creating an ensemble cast with no chemistry or purpose.
Laura Cosoi's character, allegedly a CEO, behaves nothing like one. Instead, she comes off as a clichéd caricature of a "horny jobless woman with a rich dad" with no depth or credibility. Her actions are baffling and completely out of step with her supposed role.
The bride-to-be is insufferable, grating on the nerves with every scene. There's no charm, no emotional anchor-just an unbearable presence that makes you want to fast-forward.
Adela Popescu's character and the pregnant wife showed hints of comedic potential, but any such moments were quickly squandered by poor writing and lackluster execution. These two could have injected life into the story, but the film simply didn't know what to do with them.
The dialogue is wooden and emotionless, with lines delivered superficially. The script lacks wit, depth, or even a coherent message. It's all surface-level fluff, devoid of any philosophy, lessons, or insight.
The film's biggest insult is its refusal to do a smooth transition between the scenes, they end abruptly, leaving the audience to imagine what needs to happen in that scene. This lazy storytelling makes the film feel like an unfinished draft rather than a polished product.
Skip this one or leave it as background noise while doing your house chores especially now that it is on Netflix.
