The Vampire Next Door

Yeah, B Movie Vampire with all the chringe you can't handle.. Not much more to really say about this... Came accross it and thought it might be one of those B movies that is so bad, its acctually good, Sharknado, Sharknado2, Sharknado3, Sharknado4, Sharknado (and however much more they squeeze into that series to death), meg (but not a B movie, but made to look like one), etc... Don't go in with high hopes and see it for what it is, pretty bad acting/directing/script/etc...

Plus, anyone see anything suspissious about the cover??? It looks just like the entire TrueBlood Series on HBO posters. Same thing, the white figure/charector with fangs out and blood dripping down and tongue wipping along their lips.

The special effects budget was about £2.50, most of which was spent on red corn syrup and eyeliner to draw squiggly lines on Victoria's face. Victoria's costumes came from the SHEIN Halloween sale. Cameron was as likeable as Covid on your birthday and at least then you still get presents. Why Diane was vaguely interested in Cameron was the greatest mystery as she was a beautiful woman and he looked like a McDonald's employee. For the entire film the ice cream shop didn't have a single customer to save on the cost of extras. All of this terribleness was why I couldn't stop watching this movie until the end. At one point it seemed like it was going to turn into a porno but alas no as this did seem to be the director's true calling. All the actors gave it their best shots with what little they had to work with. Gold stars to you all and to the director and writer I will leave you with the comment my sister's teacher gave her in a school report "Jessica always likes to contribute in class however the relevance of her contributions are not always apparent".

Ignore the poster art. It promises the kind of sexy horror comedy that proliferated back in the vhs era, but delivers on none of the elements. Pacing? It moves like a sloth with a hernia. Suspense? Outside of teasing whether or not a character might actually fall asleep delivering the leaden dialogue, there is none. Scares? The vamp has a habit of popping in out of nowhere, but that's more irksome than frightening. Interesting spin on traditional vampire lore? There is just nothing here that hasn't been done before and better. The characters have little to do or say of interest, so it's hard to become engaged with their actions or care about consequences. A half hour in, I was wondering whether I would mind if in the next scene the zombie apocalypse arrived and ate everyone? Not really.

Vampires are not a fresh cinematic idea. We have had them since F. W. Murnau. In the same way that a book has to sell itself to the reader in chapter one, a movie has about twenty minutes to answer the question why should the viewer care what happens to the characters. And a vampire movie has a tougher job than most, since it's such a familiar genre. But bland, inert, jokeless, unsuspenseful, and free of all gratuitous exploitation content won't get it done. Avoid.

You should not go in this expecting a masterpiece. Its low budget, plot is nothing revolutionary. Camera work is decent, acting is not bad, the main actor Cameron was sorta ok. I think the girls are newish in the acting business, so they do look a little bit off.

Its a story of a girl living next door to him, that happens to be a vampire on a mission. I will not give too much details, but when she does kill the old man that is supposed to be a vampire, you never actually see anything that would make him a vampire. Strange decision by the director.

I did chuckle and laugh few times at the jokes, mostly at his workplace. I did not really see much chemistry between the characters, and the last scene when the blonde was explaining the brunette the past was rushed. Funny thing that only the kiss between the two girls was pretty darn good, its like that is the only chemistry that really stood out. Its like they are dating in real life haha.

Overall a decent horror vampire comedy. Nothing spectacular, but not really that bad.

It started off better than it ended. Too many coincidences and when it got slow all I could think was if this was a porn the movie would be so much better! Someone needs to find some body doubles (as the actresses seem too uptight to embrace their primal side without along the constraints of social programming to control their choices) I'm sure all the male actors would say hell yea so body doubles needed and splice this the way it should play out! Each one of the love interest kind of blends especially what he sees through his window two thirds of the way in, that had some potential. Either way if it is on sale and you've literally watched at least half of what is on the internet go for it you've already seen worse.