Poseidon Rex

First of all, I need to clarify - no this is not a masterpiece. But if you are on this page, you have probably seen Sharktopus, Sharknado, maybe Age of Dinosaurs....something of that ilk. If not, welcome stranger to a whole new world! Poseidon Rex is about an aquatic dinosaur that is woken from its slumber to kill people in a not overly gory CGI way, usually by wiping out their boat along with the passengers. Some of the acting is somewhat poor, but this is partly some of the movie's charm. You chuckle at the awfulness. Basically, the storyline is.....who cares? You have an aquatic dinosaur on the loose, coming onto land, killing people whilst a beautiful female scientist and her chums seek to do something about it. The CGI is at times terrible, the acting at times worse than terrible, but the locations are nice, it's a fun and cheap movie for a Friday night when you fancy (and will likely need) an alcoholic beverage. I can't believe the low score it's getting. I love it and have it twice in 7 months. yes really. So, if you want decent characterisation, well, lets face it - it's called Poseidon Rex. If you want a great story...same answer. But it's undeniable fun if you like cheesy cheapfests like the aforementioned Sharknado etc. I loved it. Give it a try, you might too. if you don't, then sorry for your loss of 80mins but if you do enjoy it, it will make your life so much better won't it.

Going into a movie called Poseidon Rex you'll have naturally low expectations, and right here I assure you they're met!

It tells the story of a series of explosions that have awakened a dormant dinosaur, a "Poseidon Rex". Essentially it's a t-rex that can swim, and may I just begin by saying it looks ruddy awful.

Starring terrible movie veteran Brian Krause we see our big ugly cgi beasty going on a rampage and a rag tag of people forced to stop it right up until an incredibly bad cliched finale.

This is the kind of film that is constantly repeated on the Scyfy channel and why nobody takes that channel even remotely seriously anymore.

The acting is terrible, the sfx are cringe inducing and the plot is about as original a the average slasher movie.

True dire stuff.

The Good:

Meh

The Bad:

Awful cgi

Some laughable acting

Characters are stupidly unrealistic in their behaviour

Creatures size isn't consistent

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Seeing a dinosaur footprint in 2013 won't shock a person in the slightest

If you find an egg of an unknown large creature, maybe leave it there?!

Scientists are notorious for having beer in their labs fridge and drinking during experiments

The creators clearly could only get the license for one single song!

You know that this movie is going to be one of those bad movies. And right you are, this is exactly that bad. But still, there is something morbidly fascinating about watching these horribly bad movies.

The storyline in "Poseidon Rex" is only outdone by the special effects (or what is supposed to pass as special effects) and the fact that this movie is one big cliché.

First of all, how would a prehistoric creature like this be able to sustain itself trapped in a crust of the of earth and trapped under the ocean for millions of years? It just doesn't make sense.

What also didn't make sense was the creature itself. It was just embarrassing to look at the CGI use in the movie. Most of the time it was quite bad, but every now and then, the creature effects were adequate to behold.

When they were diving, how could they be talking with those mouth pieces? It just didn't make sense.

The storyline had so many plot holes that it was hilarious to watch.

"Poseidon Rex" is a B-movie in every possible meaning of the word. Questionable effects, questionable story, questionable acting and questionable entertainment.

Sure, the movie is terrible, but I'm even more confounded by the description:

"Forced to pay off his debt to the murderous Caribbean crime lord, Tariq, instead, the American scuba-diver and treasure hunter, Jackson Slate, wakes up from its deep hibernation a massive, T-Rex-like sauroid off the coast of Belize."

I dare anyone to diagram that sentence.

Poseidon Rex is one of those movies where you can tell that you shouldn't be expecting much from it. Even when that was taken into account, from a personal perspective it was still a load of rubbish that only has some nice scenery and underwater shots going for it. The creature, who is basically a half-dinosaur and half sea-monster, is another entry in the long line of terrible-looking SyFy creatures. There is a complete lack of fluidity in movement, texture or anything convincing in the design, and the it isn't menacing either with its "towering" presence most likely made possible by stilts. The scenes in which it appears in suffer from being hurriedly edited(in fact the whole movie looks rushed and murky-looking) and from having too much unintentional humour rather than genuine tension. The dialogue is at best trite and stilted, with the "snappy" banter marred by excessive cheesiness and wooden line delivery(the worst of them are absolute howlers). The story is very unexciting- with a fair amount of filler than could have been trimmed down or cut- and predictable stuff, anybody can smell the ending a mile off and any action comes across as heavy-handed and with overuse of fire-power. The characters are poorly developed and cardboard, they are just there and you don't know why, and some of them do some stupid things that make them even less easy to root for. The acting is very poor, with Brian Krause's lead performance lacking any kind of charisma(reading of a very last-minute replacement, Corin Nemec would have been a much better choice if it weren't for his terrible accident) while on the other side of the spectrum the obligatory stereotypical villain is played in a "hamming-it-up" style that's pretty embarrassing at times to watch. In conclusion, not the worst there is but it did come across personally as a rubbish movie- regardless of how low my expectations were- that should should be left uncovered. 2/10 Bethany Cox