La solitudine dei non amati

What a truly magnificent film! Fantastically written story and cinematography that drags you through an emotional rollercoaster, going left and right. Director Lilja has created a masterpiece with this. I'm so glad this film got to see the light of day. Perhaps the struggle of getting it made and realized is some of the frustration and intensity we can absorb through the film.

The acting from Helga is nothing but pristine! Never seen such a great performance from any Norwegian actor or perhaps even others. The film has scenes that will keep you pulling your hair, not sure who's side you're on, keeping you on the edge of your seats. While at the same time it WILL make you cry when you finally get there. Is the mirror scene perhaps one of the best shots and scenes in Nordic cinematography history? See it and judge for your self!

Because I try to choose well what I see, I can almost always find some food for thought in a movie or I can get emotional.

But rarely do I cry at the cinema simply out of compassion. This is what happened when I was watching Elskling, a film from Norway about low self-esteem, where it comes from and how it can damage a person's life and relationships.

The plot is very simple: two people meet, fall in love, get married, have children, face some problems and then have to deal with them. However, this same plot is shown in various depths. As the film progresses, layer after layer we get closer and closer to the core of the problem: we see what lies underneath and then what's underneath this new deeper layer. As a result, together with the main character we face the truth. We feel. We learn. And we are ready for the clean slate.

Bravo!

For anyone out there who had/has a family member suffering from mental health issues, or he/she him/herself struggling with such malaise, this film certainly hits home. And it hits hard.

The "familiarity" with which it brought me all these thoughts of my mother - taking care of 4 kids, being 'entrapped' - and how I got affected by her raising me, incapable of being in touch with my emotions and having any connection, to anyone...

I cried. I cried hard, throughout this movie, for the similarities with my own life, my mother's, and my own human experience, are simply hard to ignore...

I wish by now this is less of a taboo - talking about mental state and having difficulty to cope with life in general. I left the theater a bit disoriented, wishing I could talk to someone about what I had just experienced, but failing to think of anyone I could call up...

Loneliness...

Guess this says it all. It resonated and touched me because of strictly personal reasons, but I wish everyone had the open mind and heart to watch this movie and take lessons from it - we're all different, some of us have more difficulty being in touch with their emotions, and pushing people away is not done in self-defense, it's done out of fear.

Lilja Ingolfsdottir " Elskling " is probably the most powerful and best Norwegian film I have seen since ØYENSTIKKER of Marius Holst, 23 years ago . Nothing compares. It makes every other Norwegian film work I have seen since , look amateurish, except for a very few, like " Armand " and " The worst Person in the World" . Naturally they're a few more. It's hard to make a great film . I know it personally. It's even rarer to see a filmwork that moves your heart and mind in such a way that you can't let it out of your mind for a few days . Possibly weeks. I remember watching the anti war movie of Elem Klimov "Come and See " and the way it haunted me for months. I recently rewatched " Amour "by Michael Hanneke " and was amazed again how a director is capable of brutally bring true " LIFE" on screen through his masterly work of actors and unique personal film language . Elskling has that honesty and rawness . It's has no flaws . It's brilliantly directed and executed. It moves you powerfully. Lilja Ingolfsdottir is a true mature and gifted director that brings her actors in an emotional landscape that is difficult to bring out on screen . She does it without any mistakes . All the actors bring to the screen an amazing performance . Helga Guren, Oddeir Thune and Elisabeth Sand deliver an incredible performance that hits home right through our rib cage . It rings so true like it rarely does .

This film could have easily fallen apart and drown into unnecessary pathos. Instead, it intelligently dwells into the most difficult subject that touches our lives with an honesty that is disarming. Love and relationships. Like John Cassavete, Hanneke s or Jaques Audiard , Lilja Ingolfsdottir uses a very personal film language and knowledge, to reveal the subtleties and contradictions of our emotional makeup . She reveals the complexity of our feelings in the way we communicate with each others through our ordinary lives . She never uses the easy cliches and tricks of the commercial trade that so many uses . No. Not once she takes that easy road that so many film makers take. Instead, she has an inner instinct and film ability , that only a great sensitive film director can acquire with the years. Some manage to get it at a young age like Xavier Dolan. But most film makers struggle to find their own personal voice, due partly by the demands of the commercial film industry and the producers . But often it's because they don't have a story to tell or because they aren't really yet film directors. But here in Elsking, Lilja Ingolfsdottir is backed by the talented producer Thomas Robsahm and this is essential if you are going to make a strong personal film.

It's truly a brilliant and beautiful film to watch . À hymn to love , that I hope will inspire other film makers in Norway . It demonstrate what is so often , missing in their films. Soul . Credibility. Truth. And most of all ,the daring to be personal, to be naked in front of your audience . Bravo Lilja Ingolfsdottir. And thank you for your story and courage to do it .

I shall watch it again at the cinema before it leaves the big screen.

Norwegian cinema is less known in the world than the ones coming from other Scandinavian countries, but lately it has offered some interesting productions, especially films about ordinary people and their relationships. 'Elskling', the 2024 debut film by director Lilja Ingolfsdottir, also falls into this category. If the translation app doesn't fool me, the title is equivalent to 'Darling', but the producers decided to release it on the English-language market with the title 'Loveable', a slightly explicit title in my opinion where more ambiguity would have been more appropriate. It's a film about a marriage in crisis, one of those situations that many of us have gone through or known in our lives. The characters are so natural and the situations are believable, which is a good starting point.

Maria was diverced with two small children when she saw Sigmund at a party and fell in love with him. She searches for him for several months and, when she finds him, she initiates a relationship that seems to turn into a second-chance love story. They get married, two more children are born, seven years pass. The flame seems to be about to die out, especially on Sigmund's side. He is busy with his professional life and claims to need 'space'. Maria, meanwhile, is overwhelmed by raising her four children and frustrated by the fact that she is unable to achieve her own professional fulfillment. Maybe she also needs her 'space'? Maybe, if the relationship is no longer working, that it would be better to divorce? The word 'divorce' is pronounced late and with difficulty. For Maria, trying to be independent, separated from Sigmund and the children, is risky.

I have a problem with films with excessive verbosity, and 'Elskling' is one of them. It is true that part of the film is spent in sessions at the psychologist where Maria and Sigmund arrive together, but Sigmund quickly gets bored and abandons after the first two sessions, leaving Maria as his only patient. It is a good pretext, but not enough, and in a few scenes (especially one of the many scenes with mirrors) the emotions are stifled in words. Too bad, because at other times we are dealing with a sensitive and empathetic sketch of the life of a couple in need of help. Helga Guren is an excellent actress and her Maria joins a gallery of numerous female characters in Scandinavian cinema that are filled with restrained emotion. Oddgeir Thune, the performer of the role of Sigmund, has all the physical qualities necessary for the role plus acting talent. The story and the acting performances will divide audiences in their appreciation of the degree of responsibility of the two heroes in the crisis of their marriage. I was intrigued by one aspect, however, and I don't know if this observation is not related to cultural differences. Here is a film about the breakup of a relationship between two mature people who raise four children together (two born in their marriage, two from the heroine's previous marriage). The two talk a lot on to the other, in the presence or absence of the psychologist. How is it possible that the interests and well-being of the children are never a subject of discussion or an argument for how the relationship will evolve? With these small observations, I think 'Elskling' is an interesting film, coming from an unexpected direction, by a filmmaker who promises to make many other, good films in the future.