Love Rat

Whoever wrote this pile of garbage needs to go back to Comprehensive School and complete her CSEs. How on earth could such established actors could allow themselves to be dragged in to such an implausible plot, banal script and amateur dramatics direction. There were more holes in the plot than in Blackburn, Lancashire. The " clever twists" were not clever and were ridiculously predictable. Most importantly, how could Channel 5 be stupid enough to present it? I can only assume that the scriptwriter was the author's mother who is married to the commissioning editor. If it's so easy to get on screen I'm going to submit all my novels.

The 'infinite monkey theorem' suggests that a monkey hitting typewriter keys at random for an infinite amount of time would almost surely write any given text at some point, including the complete works of Shakespeare.

What people *don't* know about this theorem is that it also suggests that it would take that same monkey around only 3½ hours (including a 15-minute lunch break for a banana and a Kit Kat) to write the average 4-part drama for Channel 5.

And in the case of Love Rat, average is being kind.

It's abysmal. Whoever told Neil Morrissey he could act was a bare faced liar, as even up against the rest of this wooden cast he was particularly dreadful.

The daughter has to be one of the most unlikeable characters ever written (better luck next time, monkey) but thankfully she's not in it much. Less thankfully that means more time for the mother to waddle around Cyprus bouncing from gullible to stupid along the way.

I saw the ending coming from a mile away despite it being utterly ridiculous, and as for the final scenes - well, perhaps the monkey had had a lobotomy.

3/10

🐀🐀🐀

Totally unconvincing acting and storyline despite having some good actors in it. That is about all that needs to be said. Each episode seemed to become worse than the previous one There are no redeeming features about this series except that we only have to endure three episodes. The lead character, Sally Lindsay, lurches from one disaster to another. The crooks in Cyprus are weakly and poorly acted. The ex husband is a total loser and a waste of space, he is pathetic. The only one with any redeeming features is the police woman. I would not recommend this to anyone and I wish I had not wasted my time watching it. There is no real suspense.

Should read 0 star. The script and plot is so bad I find it very hard to believe any money was wasted on filming it. Any cast could not make this into a credible storyline. The story is completely implausible. The lines are corny and cheesy and bordering on spoof-like because the whole production is so bad. Sally Lindsey is believable when it comes to casting a frumpy, grumpy granny from somewhere like Stockport. But not as one that then turns into a super sleuth action woman. Her acting is wooden and along the lines of the equally dreadful Madame Blanc series. I guess the cast and crew got a nice trip out to Cyprus but if I were any of them I would not want my involvement with Love Rat appearing on my CV.

OK its C5 and we expect something cheap and cheerful, but this only managed to over deliver on the cheapness.

Sally was introduced to us living in a house in the woods, which didn't seem to have any lights? Not surprisingly she went to Cyprus for some holiday sun - but her room there didn't have any lights either. The darkness followed her.

Seems like they couldn't afford a film crew...

This was a real Turkey in every single respect, Direction, Writing, Acting, Production Values, Score - they all sucked big time.

An embarrassing effort, one to avoid - or watch for laughs if you've had a few (too many) drinks.