Killbots

After the recent rollout of Full Moon with Mislatonic U, Baby Oopsie, Don't Let Her In, and even The Twelve Slays of Christmass, I thought the company is right on track.

Then we got the Cranage Collection - clipshow products without even a framing device. Just random clips from actual movies - what's up with those?

Then we got Murderbot/Killbots. No idea on the plural, there is only 1 temrinator-clone slasher-robot-monster, and sloppy storytelling, plus a very old Eric Roberts lookalike.

The best part of this conondrum is Dare Taylor, who seemed to take some acting lessons even - too bad she is killed so soon. Or at all.

Martha Wells should sue these schlockmeisters for inferring that this price of terrible garbage is anything like the Murderbot book series. The acting is terrible, the FX are atrocious and it doesn't take place in space, just rundown hokey craphole set.

The only good thing about this crappy " movie" is its short run time. I feel sorry for the actors who had to be associated with is pile of slop but the writers and producers should be ashamed of themselves for first making this crap and also trying to associate it with a classic SF book series by Martha Wells. I feel dirty just for watching a part of it. Both thumbs way way down. Avoid at all costs!!!!!

If you want your killer cyborg film quick and silly and prefer the titular robot as a busty female, Murderbot by revered schlock master Jim Wynorski is probably up your alley. As one can expect from a film directed by Wynorski and released by a company like Full Moon Features, it's cheap and very self-aware.

Running less than 50 minutes, you might expect a tight and fast-paced story. Mostly it is, but the main part which is about a bunch of dumb teenagers trying to escape the clutches of the digital killer is sadly quite a drag, and underwhelming at best. A couple of decent effects or stunts might have made a difference, but there's no effort whatsoever.

There are some funny gags and the science lab parts would be entertaining even without the gratuitous nudity. But the simple truth is that when given a chance to see a silly Terminator-variant, you expect some action scenes - that would be playing the concept for granted. This is just lazy and rushed beyond belief.

So if you wish to see an action-packed film with a female main protagonist, take a chance with the finnish indie exploitation tribute The Defiler - you won't be disappointed. If it's the Terminator-angle you're after, check out Atomic Cyborg aka Hands of Steel by Sergio Martino. It's italian post-apocalyptic exploitation cinema at its finest.

I first learned of Jim Wynorski in 2001 when I rented his 1986 horror flick "Chopping Mall" from my neighborhood video store.* To horror fans, it's a masterpiece; to those who prefer serious cinema, it's beyond schlock (my dad called it not even a B movie, more like a C movie). I don't recall having seen another Wynorski movie until I caught his "Murderbot" on Tubi.

Basically, this story of an android trained as a soldier (and looking like a busty babe) who escapes a military facility and goes on a killing spree is for people who want quick, cheap entertainment. Nothing more than that. Looking at his filmography, it seems like this stuff is the majority of Wynorski's repertoire. Not at all that interesting.

*Those whose idea of video stores was Blockbuster have no idea what they missed by not going to neighborhood video stores.

You can expect, what? A) Poor Direction. B)Scenes that make little or no sense. C) Busty women (occasionally topless or nude). D) Lame, lame storytelling. E)Stuff that is barely better than The Asylum. F)All of the above and more. Now, I'm not saying every single Wynorski film is a piece of trash that should be consigned to as hot a fire as can possibly be lit, for instance Chopping Mall, while cheap and silly does have Kelly Maroni in it and is a lot of fun (and for those of you screaming about him using Murderbot, that was the original title in 1986, for Chopping Mall-it did much better under the second name). If you want a migraine, watch this. If not, avoid at all costs.