- Black Orchid: You exude pain. Your life is a patchwork of blackness with no time for joy. How do you cope with it?
- Batman: I have a butler.
- John Constantine: I expect the worst, so I prepare for the worst, and when the worst happens, I'm ready. But my outlook doesn't alter the reality of the world.
- John Constantine: Point is, even deities can get it wrong. It's how we got the appendix, Neanderthals and Reality TV.
- John Constantine: [to Destiny] Is that a sword in your chest, or are you just glad to see me?
- Jason Blood: Merlin sends his regards. And by the way, you lose.
- [eulogy for Jason Blood]
- Etrigan: For 500 years, he and I have been bound / A demon from Hell, a knight of renown / Though we were cursed to be slaves to each other / I know of no man I'd want more for a brother. Farewell, mortal.
- Batman: The League had a run-in with Faust, but his location isn't in our database.
- John Constantine: Yeah, well, wizards don't make a habit of signing up for credits cards or social media.
- Batman: I hope those elephants survived. You don't want PETA on your back.
- Zatanna: You're assuming they were real in the first place. How are you, Bruce?
- Batman: I'm fine, Zatanna. Busy. You know where I can find John Constantine?
- Zatanna: No.
- Batman: You must have some idea.
- Zatanna: We don't keep in touch.
- Black Orchid: Powerful in true magic. Angry at John. This, I understand. Yet, you still have feelings for him.
- Zatanna: I could kill him.
- John Constantine: Jason's not the murdery type. He's chock full of honor, loyalty, and rubbish of that sort.
- Batman: The criminally insane don't need magic as an excuse. I recommend spending more time on the streets instead of flying over them.
- [Leaves]
- Green Lantern: Hmm. He's even friendlier than they say.
- [last lines]
- John Constantine: [as Black Orchid hands Constantine and Zatanna a pint of brew] Now, that's what I call making yourself useful, love.
- John Constantine: AGH! This is the monkey cage in Sumatra all over again! "Ooh, we need to save the monkeys", she said!
- Zatanna: You are such an ass!
- Etrigan: So Constantine calls once more / Just like a greedy wanton...
- John Constantine: Save the bloody rhymes, and stop that git!
- Etrigan: Killjoy.
- Batman: [to Constantine and Zatanna who are arguing] He's dead and I accept the risks. So, can we get to it, or do you two need a timeout?
- Ritchie Simpson: Still wondering what Batman's doing in my living room. And when is he gonna shut up, right?
- [laughs]
- [first lines]
- Business Woman: [on phone and her car is rear-ended] Well, just great! No, not the presentation. That's terrible. Some idiot just hit me.