Liz & Dick

I don't want to use this forum to beat up on Lindsay Lohan because she is an easy target, but really y'all? Did somebody actually look at the dailies while this film was being made and say to themselves, "oh yeah, Lindsay nailed it"...Lindsay Lohan was good in the Parent Trap when she was a small child, but it's almost as if she stopped trying after that. This film required acting chops that Ms. Lohan either does not possess, or could not tap into. Either that, or Ms. Lohan simply didn't find the role important enough to bother preparing for it. Even somebody who isn't familiar with the porcelain skinned, exquisitely beautiful Elizabeth Taylor with her precise, breathy, slightly British way of talking, and her expressive eyes could watch her films and at least TRY to embody her smoldering sensuality and physicality. Instead, I found myself looking at Ms. Lohan and thinking, her lips are too puffy, her skin is too rough, too thick, and the makeup just made it worse. The close ups were hideous, showing the thick makeup to cover Lohan's freckles, and her eyelashes are too obviously fake, with wigs that aren't even pretending not to be wigs. But that's all just costume and make up, so I still have hope. Then Lohan speaks, and that's when I know: It was just cruel to cast Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor and expect her to pull it off because she has this hoarse voice that sounds like it has spent too much time in smoke-filled bars, or screaming at people; a voice with a flat affect, rushing her lines as if she just wants to wrap the scene so she can go to the mall. Lohan's voice has NO inflection, and her face shows no expression. In fact, Lohan is NOT the exceptionally delicate, quietly fierce, risk taker that Elizabeth Taylor was; nor is she captivating on the screen like Elizabeth Taylor was. I'm sorry to make this statement, but it is what it is: Lindsay Lohan can not act. She can not play anyone other than herself. And she looks terrible. Grant Bowler did a great job of embodying the late Richard Burton, but his wig was terrible and distracted from his performance. Burton never had that much hair. And who did Bowler's make up? because they should have been fired. Richard Burton's screen presence had nothing to do with being handsome, because he wasn't. He was magnetic, and his voice was his best feature, but Grant Bowler is far too handsome to play Richard Burton, and his voice didn't have the richness or the depth of Burton's. There are so many talented actors in Hollywood who could have made this film worth watching, and had somebody gone to the effort to cast a better actress to play Taylor, I feel like Grant Bowler's Burton would have been more believable. Additionally, this film was simply a series of costume changing scenes filled with the couples' childish bickering. I realize the real life couple had a stormy relationship, but this film made them appear ridiculous. To make matters worse, there was ZERO CHEMISTRY between Lohan and Bowler, and I had the feeling Bowler was disgusted with having to carry this film by himself. This film lacks the effort necessary to make a film credible or even entertaining. Lohan should have never been cast as Taylor, and should have been replaced the first day of shooting. Not a kind tribute to Taylor and Burton. I think Burton would call this film bloody awful.

but I really can't When I saw the trailers, I thought it had promise. I saw scenes where it actually looked like Liz and Dick, but those were about the only resemblances I saw. The script was pretty thin and the acting was pretty pitiful. The script did cover their turbulent lives, but did not provide us with any information that we did not already know. Of course, if you are a bit younger than I am, you may have missed their trials and tribulation. If fact, you may not even know who they were and probably do not care. This movie will in no way inspire you to look further into their lives.

For me, the high point of the whole thing was when Burton died because I knew that the movie was about to be over. Skip this one.

This movie dispels all the mystery and magic around this star-spun couple, here portrayed as rich drunks in a whirlwind of self-absorbed emotion. However, the diction of Grant Bowler is remarkably Burtonesque while Lindsay Lohan cannot rise above the California valley. Taylor spoke with distinction--slowly, somewhat deliberately, and with a stylishly youthful twist in her young to middle years. Lohan mumbles and sprints through her lines with her now nasal-bound voice. I mostly blame the director for missing this most important feature of the legendary Taylor. This movie is a hot mess that grows worse with every scene. It is surely destined for Saturday Night Live.

Liz & Dick (2012)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Made-for-TV film about the up and down relationship between Elizabeth Taylor (Lindsay Lohan) and Richard Burton (Grant Bowler). That's pretty much all you need to know in regards to the story. If you don't know who Taylor and Burton were and just tune into this film then you're going to come away that they were both spoiled, drunk idiots who fought and had sex a lot. LIZ & DICK is a pretty poor movie that has some very good stuff in it but there's just no getting around some incredibly big and fatal flaws. The biggest flaw is the casting of Lohan, a talented actress, who is simply in way over her head. I really don't blame her horrible performance on her, I really blame the producers for casting her just to get some press and ratings. It's clear their trick worked but it really ended up killing the film because there's not a single frame where one will believe her as Taylor. The performance from Lohan is just bad and all over the place. Even embarrassing when it comes times for Lohan to re-enact some of the famous scenes from Taylor's movies. You can even call the performance lazy as the film covers twenty-plus years yet Lohan never ages. The film also goes over Taylor battles with gaining weight yet Lohan remains 100-pounds if that. Even worse is Lohan keeping her exact voice and not even trying to do Taylor's. Bowler, on the other hand, does a pretty good job capturing the voice of Burton and he handles the dramatic scenes much better. The film never tells you much about either person other than they drank too much and we never even get any knowledge of the films they made together. This is basically just a sleazy tabloid piece that goes for ratings and very little else. The film remains watchable because of the train wreck of a performance by Lohan but thankfully neither Taylor or Burton lived to see this.

One of Hollywood's most publicized and scandalous relationships is that of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. When I saw previews for the 2012 film Liz and Dick, I was excited about it; despite my feelings against Lindsay Lohan for the part of Taylor, I was going to be open-minded and see the movie anyway. However, once I saw the Lifetime movie, Lindsay Lohan did nothing but solidify my initial feelings against her as Elizabeth Taylor. The makeup artists, film editors, and costume designers might have been able to create brief instances where Lindsay resembles Taylor physically, but the moment Lindsay starts to speak or even move, she completely tarnishes the character and any essence of Taylor she managed to harness. I've seen better acting in a high school theater production. Lohan was simply, and very clearly, the wrong casting choice to play the great Hollywood diva, Elizabeth Taylor. Taylor is one of Hollywood's most prominent and influential actresses of all time, and the honor of playing her in a movie is one that should have been given with much more scrutiny and contemplation. It seemed to me that Lohan lazily approached her responsibilities to the part. First off, her accent and diction as Elizabeth was way off, making it hard to pay attention to anything that was actually being said. It was as if Lohan made no effort at all to capture Elizabeth Taylor's persona, voice, and demeanor. Second, Lohan owes Grant Bowler an apology for putting the burden on him to carry them through every scene. Grant Bowler did an exceptional job at becoming Burton, unfortunately, his efforts were lost whenever Lohan had the next line.

As atrocious as Lindsay's performance as Taylor was, Lohan was not the only reason Liz and Dick failed to be a successful Hollywood biopic. The screen writing and storyline were extremely lacking in substance and failed to represent the better aspects of Taylor and Burton's love story. The film depicted Taylor and Burton as raging alcoholics; there didn't seem to be a scene absent of some sort of alcohol or narcotic. The entire storyline consists of love making, drinking, and fighting, all of which happens between only two characters. None of the other characters in the film are deeply developed or even included in the storyline at all. As a viewer, it's hard to engage in a film without any real substance or emotional ties to characters. Overall, this was not a good movie and I undoubtedly give it a 2 out of 10 star rating. Lohan failed to give the great Hollywood starlit the justice she deserves, and it's a good thing Taylor isn't around to see the abomination. The movie had great potential and it was something that I looked forward to seeing. A glimpse and dramatization of the great Liz and Dick love story could have been a romantic and successful movie. Capturing Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton's life and love on film is no easy feat, and it shouldn't have been handled the way it was; if they were going to do it, they should have done it right or at least without Lohan.

Here are a few of my favorite Tweets about the film: @campsucks This is the weirdest episode of Mad Men. #LizandDick @NicDressel An actress who will never win an Oscar playing an Oscar winning actress in a movie that will never win any award. #inception #lizanddick @fuggirls The chemistry between LiLo and Grant Bowler is the equivalent to trying to light a cigarette with an ice cube. – H #LizAndDicK @BenWiddicombe .@lifetimetv Can we have Hilary Duff as Grace Kelly please? Maybe Snooki as Audrey Hepburn? Jazz Ponce #LizandDick I believe we've been way too hard on stars of previous Lifetime movies. For one We really owe Tori Spelling an apology… @JasonAlexander If the dead could sue, the producers of "Liz and Dick" would be in court this morning.

@pattonoswalt Dear @lindsaylohan: I give you permission to Tweet me to smithereens when I do Lifetime's CHAZ BONO: THE CRUELEST CUT in March. #lizanddick Check out My Blog: http://mknavarre.blogspot.com/