The Fall of the Essex Boys

Where do we start. If you really have nothing else to do, you could do worse.

Paul Tanter is an up and comer, but he is in danger of "pigeon holing" himself in this genre of gritty crime dramas. He is obviously talented and his past work with Simon Phillips and Nick Neverne is worthy of inspection. Phillips in particular was under used in the acting sense for this picture.

OK the story - Same old, same old. with a couple of extra twists, which if you believe the front cover/poster, will enlighten us as it is the "only true Essex Boys movie". If you do, you'll be disappointed. Some characters were depicted with their real names, other were complete falsehoods, like the poor girl who tragically died. I am sure that there are reasons why real names were not used.

Same format, different actors, apart from poor Kierston Wareing, who has now played Pat Tate's downtrodden lady in at least three films. Now Kierston is good, a very good actress, but she really must either live in Southend, close to the pier, or Alex Kingston sold the exclusive rights to the part, once she saw how bad Essex Boys turned out. Kierston, all that breeze coming off the North Sea is beginning to make your cheeks very rosy. Get inside and have a cup of hot tea!

The main protagonists - Jay Brown I like, but in this part (Tucker)he seems to have been told to walk around like he was in a Mr Universe pose-down. He is so much better than that. The script obviously did not allow him to play the part with the charisma of Terry Stone who played the part on a couple of previous occasions. Pete Barratt swears his way through the move, as all previous Tate incarnations have to do. Unfortunately he doesn't look the part, like the hulking Tamar Hassan or have the presence of the charismatic Craig Fairbrass who I think is best actor to capture this hoodlum. (although you could argue that Hassan and Fairbrass gave Tate a comedic turn also, however warped that sounds.)

The police detective was solid and Ewan Ross was believable. Unfortunately the scenes where he was the central character, gave him little to work with in terms of antagonist to converse with and develop his character more.

There must have been investment from someone and I love the fact that people are still investing in UK film. Maybe this was a tax break, because if I was a serious investor - I would be upset with my end product.

The story has been done and has been done better, much better. The worst of the films depicting this infamous story. It is time it was left alone now. I do not blame the actors. I blame a weak script and blasé production.

3/10 - Could do better, but please do not try with this story again please.

Not one of the best adaptations of the story.

Nothing you haven't seen before in the other versions, apart from the very end (which I won't give away)and the slightly different viewpoint; it almost assumes that you've seen or read the story before and it has the familiar milestones. The acting isn't too bad, but the cutting of the scenes could have been a bit sharper, and the characters could have been introduced better. Again, if you're not familiar with the story, you'll wonder what's happening. It copies some story styles from other movies, but without the same care and finesse. All the versions I've seen and read about portray Tate as a psycho, but they all have the same few stories about him. He was obviously wild, but he doesn't seem to have been prolific in his violence, more of a show-off. It does try to be a quick fire narrative, but it comes across more as a badly edited, amateur production. Disappointing.

I thought, Not another film about the Rettendon Murders. They say it is the best British Gangster film in years since Lock Stock. May as well watch it. Sounds great!.

What a let down. At first I wasn't sure how long I could listen to the overacted narration of Darren Nichols. Shouting the story line like he was on speed on a football terrace. Then the awful acting started.

Most of the scenes were badly cut and shot and the colour correction and lighting was all over the place. Far too many technical distractions for me to sit and enjoy. Also, what was the casting on? Pat Tate was a mountain of a guy!

Lets hope this is the last film made about the "Essex Boys" and that British gangster films see a new breed of quality actors and directors in the future.

There have been three films made about this very case, which in my (not so) humble opinion is at least one too many... and this entry may be the straw that broke the dromedary's back. Hamstrung by a tw*t of a narrator who you want to psychically harm ever time he utters a syllable, and full of drug-snorting losers who can only repeat the C and F words ad infinitum, there is no-one here to care about and consequently, zero reason to keep you watching. Of course, this being a 'lads' movie they throw in a strip joint with plenty of gratuitous nudity for the undiscerning, but you can see more in Nuts magazine every week, so why not get a copy of that instead? Just don't bother trying to find it at the Co-op.

The minor pleasures on offer here include a few scenes of ultra-violence perpetuated by our psychotic 'heroes'... at least you can can't accuse these parts of being dull. And, because this film is set in the mid-90's, the attempts at period detail are interesting... from chunky mobile phones to discussing the O J Simpson trial. Such isolated moments however, are overrun by tiresome kn*bs with annoying accents competing with each other to see who can be the biggest idiot. I think I'll declare a draw. And if another movie company decides to do yet ANOTHER version of this oft-told tale, could they do me a personal favour and... forget it? 4/10

OK...just because you give ten or so people a "Sarfend/Essex" accent it makes them a gangster. Well it don't. Too many films have tried to copy the original Lock, Stock and Two Smoking barrels and failed doing so, this is no exception.

Some of the acting is abysmal, some of them I am sure were just picked off the local bus stops and told to read a script. The running commentary is a "larf" with pseudo Cockney/Essex/Gangster accents, it's almost comical and turned the whole thing into a parody of it's self.

Other than that it is watchable and do like I did and wait for it to be in the bargain bin in your local Tesco for a £3.00!Also for a film post 2012 why the old bangers? Gangsters at least have Audi's and Jags nowadays.....