Almost Human

Yeah, it's true: the acting in 'Almost Human' isn't on a par with your standard Hollywood fare. Then again, it's better than most of the 'Star Wars' prequels' performances and you sat through those too, didn't you?

However, this should not deter you from watching the movie. If, like me, your attention was peaked by the 80's throwback poster, you know what you like in this type of movie.

The story, derivative as it is (think Body Snatchers), serves as a vehicle for a slasher-like succession of grisly, well-shot murders. In a sparse visual style, maybe even a little bleak due to the setting, we see the events unfold methodically and with increasing intensity to the suspenseful finale.

In a mere 80 minutes, 'Almost Human' shows what a gifted director can do: very much with very little. You will not be surprised, but you will be entertained.

P.S.: To the guy who kept hearing crickets during the second half of the movie: you might wanna get your ears checked. My copy was entirely cricket-free.

It seems like there exists an extremely strong desire among young and aspiring horror directors to travel back in time to the 1980s. Of all the "new" (2010 – 2017) horror movies I watched, almost half have of them either take place in the 80s or are a throwback in style and/or substance to that same decade. "Almost Human" is yet another example, set in respectively the years 1987 and 1989 and paying tribute to alien invasion and extraterrestrial body snatcher movies of that era. My guess is that these directors are nostalgic about their own youth and the classics that introduced them to the genre, and simultaneously they crave for making less complicated horror flicks in which they don't have to bother with cell phones, social media, internet, etc…

Speaking of young and aspiring horror directors, Joe Bigos is clearly an enthusiast genre fanatic himself and he undoubtedly watched all the classics as well as the obscure hidden gems worth seeking out; I'm sure of that. His film is straightforward and appealing, and he obviously gives priority to serving gore and entertainment rather than ensuring that his screenplay makes sense or doesn't contain any giant plot holes. During a dark October night in Maine in 1987, Mark got sucked into a flashy blue light that came out of the sky and he disappeared right before the eyes of his girlfriend Jen and best friend Seth. Two years later, the two are still flabbergasted about what happened but try to move on with their lives when they suddenly hear the news of a vicious murder spree in the area. Seth immediately suspects that his missing buddy is responsible for the killings, and indeed, Mark has returned! The alienated, brainwashed and – most likely – anally probed Mark axe- murders his way back to his old house, but he stores his victims in the shed where they go through a sort of rebirth process in a cocoon. It's probably best not to contemplate too much about all of the script's shortcomings, stupidities and senseless details… For example, what exactly is this alien race's intention? To cleanse and repopulate the world one person at the time, starting in some random hole up in Maine? What alien race, in fact? We never see any aliens or spaceships, we only see our buddy Mark. And if Mark really has been replaced by an emotionless alien parasite with an earthly mission, then why does he insist on returning to his old house and hook up with his former girlfriend again? Anyway, there are far more questions than the screenplay ever bothers to answer, but the good news is that there's a fair portion of gore and bloodshed to enjoy. The acting performances are so bad they become amusing again. Particularly the people in the supportive roles, like Jen's new lover Clyde, are in desperate need of some basic acting lessons. "Almost Human" is very short – less than 80 minutes – and at least it's never boring, so you won't have the impression that you wasted precious time watching it.

Almost Human comes across as a patchwork quilt of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Terminator, Alien and most notably the works of the legend John Carpenter. Unfortunately, the movie is not good enough to rise above these influences and become an entity of it's own. It has some amazing sequences of gore and violence with practical effects being used in place of horrible CGI. There is also some genuine suspense and dread which shows the director has some skill and could come up with some gems in the future.

However, the movie is badly hampered by some terrible acting and writing. Maybe if Begos had a better writer on board, he could have made a much better film. The actors swear for no reason and it comes across as stilted. They are okay when they are acting scared but when it comes to the dramatic stuff, they are found wanting. Begos has quite a lot of dramatic stuff for a slasher sci-fi flick and so this flaw is magnified that much.

Another thing this movie lacks is a sense of humour which Carpenter's films had. The movie plays it's premise too straight without a hint of satire. Sometimes, it comes off but in this case ,the bad writing and acting sticks out like a sore thumb.

All in all, Almost Human is a halfway-decent stab(*he he*) at a Slasher flick. Begos evidences some directorial talent and with his next film, he will hopefully improve his writing skills and come up with a very good film.

I guess I gotta echo what Gregburnscds has said here, it's a shame a little more time wasn't put into getting decent actors or at least building a story. That said, I'm a huge gorehound and I can see a lot of passion went into this little flick. I really looked forward to each kill and some were pretty damn good. It's strange, because while watching Almost Human I felt many times too it was a comedy. Many of the scenes are hilarious - but I'm not entirely sure that was the intention of the director. The gore scenes were above average, which included a Necrostorm style head squish with a rock, an evil dead style, up the skirt penetrating tentacle, a shotgun blast to the head, and various other impalements etc. I can't say I didn't enjoy the movie, because I did, and I don't think it deserves the one star rating someone has given it. In conclusion, for a low budget horror that only runs about 80mins I thought it was a reasonable effort, and maybe there's better to come from these guys.

First of all, the beginning off the movie captured my attention but sadly the interest started to dwindle and found myself wanting the film to finish.

Flaws, quite a few of them and the continuity? looked as though the crew couldn't care much about it!

As for the acting; I do say it wasn't bad at all but there were times when I thought "how stupid can people be". You can tell they did this to either get the audience a little angry or tensed. I personally kept shaking my head and repeated the word "stupid"

Finally, it reminded me more of slasher movies. Lots of blood and murders. There didn't seem to be a real story behind it all. The why's and how's were missing and what's going to happen next, most of you may figure it out half way through the film.

Nothing exciting here to watch.