The Station - Ghiacciaio di sangue

Really, how many movies feature ibexes, let alone a mutant ibex-fly that gets a drill in the noggin by a feisty granny? This may entice you to watch "Blood Glacier" next time you see it in the Netflix lineup of terrible, terrible horror/scifi movies. If you dimly remember having heard about this Alpine tale of terror, it's worth a six-pack and a bag of chips.

While beautifully photographed, offering amazing views of bleak ice and mountains, this movie hasn't got a clue what it wants to do. Convince you of global warming? Scare you with mutant hybrid creatures that look like stuffed animals you'd win at a carnival? Tear your heart out with thwarted love and dog death? Make you laugh uproariously at the absolutely insane behavior of "smart" scientists? Teach you not to cry while eating bananas? BG is all this, and more.

Throw these movies into a blender: The Thing, Alien, Day of the Animals, Old Yeller, Sound of Music, and that moldy oldie from the 50s, Night of the Blood Beast (the very first movie to speculate that humans make great hosts for birthing alien infants). Turn on blender. Wait about 80 minutes. Pour out your scifi smoothie and wonder how this ever got made. Take a drink of your liquid every time someone says "rabid fox", which in German sounds like "rabbit fuxes". Tack on one of the strangest endings you'll ever see and wonder if someone slipped LSD into your movie smoothie. No kidding.

Pray there's no sequel. Four stars for insanity. One star for Tinni, the best goshdarn dog actor in the world. One star, because ibexes. Six is the magic number for this smelly sausage of a movie that features someone walking around a glacier in dirty underpants.

Enjoy the schadenfreud!

Yes this is heavily inspired by The Thing (the Carpenter Remake that is from the 80s) and yet it does somewhat try to tell a different and own story. If you are into creature features, if you like well done special effects in movies and are not afraid or squeamish when it comes to blood and gore ... well I wonder why you are still reading this and haven't started watching the movie yet? All kidding aside, yes this is not an instant classic, but it doesn't need to be either.

Yes characters sometimes paper thin and decisions are bad at times, if not completely crazy. But that's the way things go down. You are here for the horror, the blood, the make up and the tension. Welcome and enjoy ...

BLOOD GLACIER is an eco-horror film with a definite vibe similar to that of John Carpenter's THE THING. Is it as good as Carpenter's classic? Well, no, but it's not bad.

At a remote outpost in the Austrian Alps, a team of climatologists uncover the titular phenomenon. Terror ensues when the effects of the glacier begin to take their toll on the local wildlife, causing bizarre, highly-dangerous mutations.

The human characters are mostly forgettable, except for Gerhard Liebmann, who plays Janek, the Kurt Russell-type antihero of the story. Also, Brigitte Kren is memorable as the no-nonsense Minister. She has some of the best lines, including the hilarious, "Stop eating that banana while you're crying!".

The mutant / hybrid monsters are fairly well-realized, using both practical and CGI effects. So, if you can overlook some goofiness, this should provide a decent evening's entertainment...

A team investigating climate change discovers a mysterious organic substance that has the ability to transform both animals and humans into terrifying mutations.

This is an entertaining well made eco-horror film in the vein of the Thing (1982). Director Marvin Kren as with zombie flick Rammbock delivers a satisfying and interesting entry into a saturated horror genre with surprisingly effective at times well realized gory effects. There's some jump moments, old and new school special effects and It benefits from an un-Hollywood quality cast including Gerhard Liebmann as Janek and Edita Malovcic as Tanja but the real star of the show breathtaking Alps setting and H. G Wells-like impressionable provoking ending.

While not as tense or physiologically claustrophobic as The Thing (1982) this German language science fiction is adult orientated for those tired of glossy, poorly directed, teen beef and pork dripping tripe. Recommended

Scientists collecting data on climate change in the Austrian Alps discover a strange organism that attacks the local fauna, resulting in vicious hybrids.

With its remote sub-zero setting and hideous genetic mash-ups, comparisons between Blood Glacier (AKA The Station) and John Carpenter's The Thing (1982) are inevitable, but really there is no contest: Carpenter's film isn't perfect, but it more than delivers with its amazing special effects; on the other hand, the extras on the DVD of Blood Glacier include a gallery of impressive pre-production sketches, but the film fails to make good on the promise of weird and wonderful creatures, most of its monsters only seen in fleeting glimpses (and what we do see isn't great, which is probably why they remain hidden for most of the movie).

Blood Glacier also suffers from a raft of thoroughly unlikable characters that are nigh impossible to care about: the only death that has any impact is that of Tinni the dog. The movie's mountainous scenery is great, but breath-taking vistas only count for so much - Blood Glacier's stunning cinematography cannot compensate for the weak script (they never explained why a girl was running down the mountain in shorts and a vest), dreary pacing, and a lack of memorable mutations.

3.5/10, generously rounded up to 4 for IMDb.