Alien War - L'invasione della Luna

I am a filmmaker and try to be as objective as possible. Understanding that many films have limitations, I try to see beyond the finances and look for other qualities such as performance, story, direction, and execution.

Well, I looked for nearly an hour and found myself, after the first 3 minutes, wishing that a piece of the space shuttle would re-enter the atmosphere, crash through my roof, and hit me in the head.

The most exciting moment of this viewing experience was when I finally decided to hit the stop button on my DVD player. The folks that made this fiasco should seriously consider Truckmasters or barber college.

There's a pointlessness to this film that ultimately leaves you wondering why you wasted an hour and a half.

It's not completely awful, it's just not very good and the main problem is the story, of which there isn't really any.

The directing didn't seem too bad to me and the acting isn't as terrible as some reviewers on here would have you believe, but it's utterly, hopelessly predictable and there was clearly no budget left for effects. They do their best with what they have, but it can't have been much.

I'm surprised more people haven't mentioned the external shots of the moonbase - it is so clearly, painfully a model landscape that all hopes of immersion are immediately lost. And what passes for a moonbase control room is reminiscent of an early episode of Blake's 7 (remember that?).

This isn't the worst film in the world, if you've a couple of hours you don't mind losing or you're a complete SF nut, then knock yourself out. Otherwise, move along now.

I know, that's not exactly the most exciting beginning when reviewing a film, but that honestly just about sums it up.

It's not that it's really horrible or anything; the acting is all right and they are definitely trying their best. And, it IS nice to see Christian Slater in SOMETHING! Man, I sure miss that guy. I was watching 'THE NAME OF THE ROSE' the other day and he was SO frigg'n excellent in it. I REALLY miss seeing him in more quality films...

Anyway, the outside shots of the moon base and equipment are nice; the film is clearly VERY low budget, but they create a moderately decent suspenseful atmosphere. There just isn't a heck of a lot to the story, really; basically a monster on the loose kind of thing.

So, I can't get wildly excited about the movie, but if you are in the mood for a simple, low-budget Moon Monster Movie and if you like Christian Slater, you might really enjoy it...

"I've never seen anything like it. Some form of ancient cell structure, it's reproducing at an incredible rate." While on a year long mission in a space station on the moon Col. Gerard Brauchman (Slater) and his crew experience a meteor storm. While trying to radio for help the communication system is knocked out and the four astronauts are left on their own. While trying to figure out what to do they begin to notice strange things happening to each other. This is a movie that I had pretty low expectations for but it was even a little worse then I expected. Bad acting, pretty slow and boring. The one thing I will say about this is that the movie tried so hard to be Aliens but it just never quite made it. There have been some very good sci-fi surprises in the last few years. Movies like Splice and Moon come to mind. This one is not anywhere near those two. Overall, if you are a huge sci-fi fan then you may like this. I did not. I give it a C-.

Instead of telling you about the story which you by now already have a grasp of, I will instead focus on how unceremoniously bad this movie is.

1) Being a scifi you expect either a cool story or some nice visuals. This has got neither. It keeps telling us it's made on a shoestring budget, and I'll admit that some parts were actually nice looking - but all the good parts are ruined by blatantly stupid props and(see 2)

2)Contrived plot twists. OMFG. I was sitting there watching with my mind's mouth open - not sure that the movie unfolding in front of me was for real. It is like watching a train wreck albeit less mass deathy. It will only give you eye cancer and brain rot. I could not turn away though because this movie is played straight - it takes itself DEAD serious, no humour. I SAID NO!

3) The characters in the movie are supremely stupid and that just blows away all suspension of disbelief because face it - there is no chance in Hell that those people would be astronauts, technicians and doctors. No one would employ them and give them the responsibilities they have, much less send them to space and pay them. No, really - it's just sad.

4) Actually I just have to reiterate nr 3). THE CHARACTERS are so stupid it's insulting to my feces' ability to render art before it's flushed.

I could do a deeper analysis, but I doubt there is any need.

When all is said and done - I was entertained in a very weird way. This is in the same category of bad as "Suing the Devil", but not as enjoyably amusing.

/basement dweller