How to Kill Monsters

The costumes are freakishly bad, the acting weak, the plot a watered down rehash, but there's enough good jokes in the same vein of Sean of the Dead to be worth watching this movie.

If the movie had abandoned efforts to be a horror movie and just stuck with the comedy this would have been a great movie actually. It's when it pretends to be serious that you start to yawn and thinking the parts worth watching are over then comes another batch of laughs, but only enough to keep you going to the end.

So it's well worth watching, especially if you liked Shaun of the dead. As a horror movie keep on going. This is a T as in trash it not even worthy of being a B or C flick in terms of horror.

Director Stewart Sparkle's 2023 feature film is a kind of follow up to his earlier film 'Book of Monsters'. On Halloween Jamie (Lyndsey Crane) is found in a cabin in the woods with a chainsaw, covered in blood, and with her friends chopped up all around her. Taken to a police station for questioning she claims it was a monster from the beyond wot done it. But then - with police laughter still ringing in her ears - strange things start happening. Written by Sparkle with Paul Butler this is a gore filled supernatural monster horror comedy, which fortunately doesn't take itself too seriously. Hokum, with some rather annoying cops - one of them played by Johnny Vivash (him again!).

On Halloween, at a cabin in the woods, there is a party going on, and the star attraction is an ancient relic, the Eldritch Blade. By aligning a series of coded symbols, it is activated, and let's say, one really doesn't want to activate it. It summons monsters, among other nasty stuff. It is low budget, and the monsters are done practical, more or less as they would have been done in B movies of the 1960's. Men in rubber suits with tentacles and gaping mouths. The CGI is less than what could be done in a middle school film class. Anyway, out from the cabin comes Jamie with a chainsaw. Everyone else in the cabin is dead, and she is the main suspect. She tries to tell them what happened but the police don't believe her. There are dumb people, some slapstick, but for the most part rampant silliness. Not great, but silly fun.

I'm all for low budget horror/comedy and potential cult hits, but this movie is not that, it lacked creativity and substance. It was a little too simple, lacked originality, and the monsters were not even remotely convincing. The monsters looked like they were made in some random person's garage, which would've been fine had the humor and writing been on point, to make up for the fact, but they weren't. It is very much an average movie, all things considered, but I do need to give credit where credit is due. The acting was pretty solid, the practical effects, even though kind if weak, were a welcome sight in the long run and much respect for no cgi or green screen. So all things said, not the worst movie ever, but if you're gonna watch, keep your expectations low, keep the inebriation high, and you might actually have a good time.

HOW TO KILL MONSTERS is thunderously good fun. It's hilarious, gory and insanely entertaining. And the creature designs are fantastic. It's fresh and original but also filled with nods to some of the cult classic horror films we all love (including, I think, to my delight, GHOULIES). There's a ton of energy in this low-budget gem and the film thrives on its b-movie roots. Much like its predecessor, BOOK OF MONSTERS, it entertains thoroughly with a great cast of human characters plus a great cast of slimy, dripping, tentacled creatures. If you liked EVIL DEAD 2, TUCKER AND DALE VS EVIL and IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS then you'll love HOW TO KILL MONSTERS.