Rise of the Zombies - Il ritorno degli zombie

How anyone could attempt to put some sort of positive spin on this rotting can of garbage is beyond me. I, like several others, gave it a chance because of several cast members, but even their performances were atrocious. It was painful to see the chief engineer of the Enterprise used in such a meaningless role. Several of these actors are capable of putting in good solid performances, but not in this flick. Wow! What a complete waste of talent. At times I even wondered if this was some sort of attempt to be funny, like Neil Hamburger, but like him it wasn't. This is the sort of film that has you constantly looking over your shoulder because you're horrified someone might actually catch you watching.

The plot isn't anything new. And the execution is pretty typical.

Mariel Hemmingway's acting was outright painful. Flat line delivery, and almost never with the proper emotion. Ethan Suplee isn't much better, but thankfully he doesn't have to say much. Lavar Burton is excellent, think the emotion of I Am Legend, without the kick-ass survivalist skills. By far the most noteworthy part of the movie. Danny Trejo is as Danny Trejo is, bad-ass. You won't be disappointed by him.

The effects are decent and the gore is quality.

If you enjoy watching formulaic zombie action movies with little cinematic value, this will deliver.

I rarely write reviews, but this was so bad that I had to write an angry one to warn others that may flip thru the channels and catch this, thinking what I did - "there's some awesome names in this, hopefully this gets better". I was definitely impressed with the Danny Trejo and LeVar Burton being IN the movie, even tickled to see Ethan Suplee, but that enthusiasm died early on in the movie. The acting was absolutely atrocious - these members would randomly be killed and there would be a small, ten-second emotional breakdown, then nothing happened and they just kept trucking on to an ending that made no closing sense whatsoever. Mariel Hemingway was the worst actress I had ever seen and it's unfortunate for her that I had never seen her in anything before, but now THIS is what's ingrained into my memory. I don't know if all that terrible acting was intentional or not, but it completely ruined the movie for me. Then again, as someone else said, this was produced by SyFy so there's an element of immediate shame once an 'original' movie is released by that network. There's not really anything to give away because, well, the movie ended abruptly and will leave you wanting your hour and a half back.

Shocker of shockers, this is a piece of crap. I know this news will startle many of you. How could this possibly go wrong, you say? A cheaply produced zombie flick with bad special effects and a cast of has-beens and never-weres? It has classic written all over it. Yet somehow this master formula fails. It would be easy for me to blame the movie's failure completely on the Hollywood Squares cast led by Mariel Hemingway (who, no joke, I thought was deceased) and the now-elderly and overweight Danny Trejo. But the cast is only a symptom of a much larger disease: namely The Asylum, the absolute worst production company in the industry today. Possibly worst ever. They make all that terrible SyFy channel garbage we all watch and hate. It's become popular in recent years to bestow some "so bad it's good" badge upon these movies. That's unfortunate because it just encourages more subpar waste like this is produced.

This movie sucks. Don't watch it.

Was I surprised to see Danny Trejo on a cover of a The Asylum flick. Surely on to pick up I guessed. Wrong. Danny is in it for 30 minutes and he's gone never to see again in this zombie flick.

It starts all pretty well and rather gory for an Asylum flick so I was ready for a hell of a ride, and yes, it was a hell of a ride until the car running away from the zombies crashed on San Fransisco's Lombard Street. Pure CGI and yes, Asylum cheapie. From there on this flick falls down in a lot of blah blah and here and there some zombie attack but from here too the effects of shooting the zombies was done CGI. But it wasn't all that bad, here and there I saw some rather good effects too. But I can't say that this is a must see. It's a mediocre flick for, no pun intended, no brainers. Very simple story and nothing scary or special.

Gore 1,5/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2,5/5 Comedy 0/5