Sorority Party Massacre

This film begins with an attractive college student by the name of "Holly Fanning" (Casey Fitzgerald) getting lost while driving to a small lakeside town in California where she hopes to participate in a sorority contest. Unfortunately for her, while trying to ask for help at a remote house, she encounters a serial killer who murdering his victims in unique and horrible ways. The scene then shifts to Los Angeles with Holly's father, "Captain Dan Fanning" (Kevin Sorbo) of the Los Angeles Police Department, asking one of his agents named "Detective William Watts" (Thomas Downey) to go to that small lakeside town to investigate his daughter's disappearance. Upon getting there, however, Detective Watts soon realizes that, not only is the local constable "Sheriff Barney P. Lumpkin" (Ed O'Ross) totally incompetent, but that a serial killer has been operating there for years without anybody even noticing it. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that, although this movie started off reasonably well, it started to unravel about halfway through--and then completely fell apart at the end. To that effect, if it was intended to be a comedy, it wasn't funny. Conversely, if it was intended to be a horror film, it lacked any real horror as well. That being said, I consider this to be one of those films that could have been better with competent direction but, failing that, I have to rated it accordingly. Below average.

As an incurably devoted fanatic of 80s horror, I always get hopeful and slightly excited when encountering a new film with a typically eighties title and plot description such as "Sorority Party Massacre". And I guess I'm not the only one, neither. Especially the past 10-15 years, there have been loads of remakes of 80s classics, horror flicks that are supposedly set in the 80s, or at least generate a throwback to the lifestyle and atmosphere of that wondrous decade. Alas, though, with almost every attempt they make, one must face the painful and irrevocable truth: genuine 80s movies could only be made in the 80s, and they are gone forever.

"Sorority Party Massacre" is a bizarre piece, and a wildly uneven and chaotic flick. The opening sequences seem to be another weak imitation of Wes Craven's "Scream" that narrowly caused my eyes to start rolling. But then, most of the film turns into a deliberately tongue-in-cheek and light-hearted parody of the entire slasher genre, and even though it was quite bad and amateurish, I must admit it was enjoyable and often hilarious. All the clichés and stereotypes are here, in XXL-size I may add, and there's gore, nudity and absurd killing methods aplenty. It often remains an over-enthusiast but inept fan-boy movie, mind you. For example, the montage to show lewd the bunch of sorority queens are, or the little clips to illustrate just how ill-tempered Detective Watts is, are clear indications of how writer/director Chris Freeman desperately wants to demonstrate how cool he is. But hey, we can sure live with that, but then the finale truly screws up things completely. It isn't easy to come up with a strong climax and original culprit-revelation, I'll gladly admit that, but some of the twists here are too many, and too dumb.

Apart from a handful of randomly hot young actresses, "Sorority Party Massacre" has two or three decent B-actors (Ed O'Ross, Richard Moll), and a bunch of people that used to perform in totally different types of films/TV-show, but somehow managed to make a new career out of appearing briefly in lousy horror productions. I'm referring to Kevin Sorbo (wasn't he Hercules?), Leslie Easterhook (how do you go from "Police Academy" to Rob Zombie movies?) and Ron Jeremy (he just turns up everywhere, I guess).

There's an opening sequence that suggests this is going to be a fairly standard horror movie with a madman offing sorority members. It has a charismatic actress, an interesting death, no hint of any humor, and... OK, granted, a plot that basically rips off Scream but at least makes it look like the film is headed somewhere. It's so completely not. The rest is a completely different movie. Suddenly it thinks it's a goofy comedy whodunit mystery, but it fails at everything. Instead of having an armchair detective trying to solve the mystery of what happened on this secluded island community, it has a cop who was suspended from his city job for being cartoonishly violent. Not very funny, right? Well, it just gets worse from there. The plot doesn't make much sense when you think about it. And, worst of all, there's no reason to care about any of these characters or anything that happens. It's just not any good, and wouldn't be without a total rewrite. Most of the actresses seem like they could have been pretty good with a decent script. Maybe next time the filmmakers can try making a horror movie instead of just pretending to be one to trick people into watching it.

With a name such as "Sorority Party Massacre" then you know that you will either be in for a very cheesy and campy slasher movie, or you will be in for a hilarious spoof on the slasher genre. With that in mind I sat down to watch "Sorority Party Massacre".

Bad mistake...

I managed to sit 45 minutes into the ordeal that is known as "Sorority Party Massacre" before I gave up on finishing the movie and just got up to find something else to watch. The storyline was just unfathomably boring and slow paced, and in those 45 minutes that I endured very little, and I do mean very little, had happened at all. And I totally lost all interest in watching the rest to see what happened.

Slasher movies have a tradition of being cheesy and low budget, but this one is the crowning on the cake. "Sorority Party Massacre" turned out to be a very, very boring movie.

The characters in the movie were characters that you hardly cared for, and you didn't really care if they lived or died. As in contrast to movies such as "Friday the 13th", where it is not just a matter of if they will die, it is a matter of how they will die. Such was not the case with the cardboard cut-out characters on parade in "Sorority Party Massacre".

I had hoped that seeing Richard Moll in a movie such as this might actually have helped the movie along, even if just a cameo. But I frankly don't recall seeing him here or remembering him here.

This is a movie that I have no intentions of returning to finish at a later point in time, because the movie just never appealed or spoke to me in any way.

In the intro some college girl has car troubles and stops at some desolate station. It's night of course and she's by herself with her dog. At some point she gets calls from a creepy voice asking her what she's afraid of and what's the scariest way to die for her. We learn that her father is a cop. But with a disabled car and little phone reception all she can do is run. The creep follows her and sprays acid on her body and face.

After this longer-than-necessary into follows some of the longest intro credits I've seen. Finally the next scene begins. Some violent detective is reprimanded by his boss, who is the intro girl's father. He puts the detective on leave, but he offers to looks for the daughter who hasn't checked in for a day so the dad is worried. He agrees and sends detective Watts to investigate.

When he arrives he meets the dumb and clueless local sheriff. The girl was on her way to a sorority competition where girls get a chance to win a grant. None of other girls have seen the girl. Watts discovers that she's not the first girl to disappear but over the decades dozens of girls have. The sheriff had no idea.

Now as they start investigating, power is cutout wherever they go, phonelines are dead everywhere, and the girls start dying according to their greatest fear, which is something they had to reveal when interviewed by the woman in charge of the grant and owner of the place the girls are visiting. There are a lot of suspects here. Eventually we learn who is behind the killings and why.

Sorority Party Massacre is the kind of movie you want to like. It has a strong but long intro, a good cast with Downey, O'Ross, Mauro, Sorbo, Mandylor. It has a bunch of girls. It has the resources and a rich story. What it doesn't have is a sorority party and not much of a massacre. For a B-movie, acting is very good all around. Quickly though you notice the main problem, which is a rather odd one. The story is told from the perspective of the cop, not from the perspective of the victims, one of the girls. It's a strange choice, which I guess could have worked, but here it just doesn't. Downey is a good actor and a good lead. Still, you keep waiting for the perspective to shift toward the girls. It never does. As a result, for most of the movie you don't care for the girls or their fate as their characters are never really established and also get little screen time. For a "...Massacre" titled movie, there is not enough violence or gore. And almost no nudity. The lovely Eve Mauro gets to play a nasty violent chick unfortunately.

Another problem is that instead of going for straight horror they went for goofy comedy, which at no point was particularly funny. Some of it is slapstick and adolescent. The story at least proved to be more involved than expected. I'd even say they ended up trying to do more than they should have. There isn't jut one, but several twists increasing the unlikelyhood of it all.

Sorority Party Massacre is unfortunately a wasted opportunity. The name of this movie shouldn't be taken seriously.